


The Doctor and the Hellboy

by BlindedKnight



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Sexual Addiction, Smutty smut smut smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-08-20 13:49:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 28,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8251405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlindedKnight/pseuds/BlindedKnight
Summary: WARNING: Contains drug/alcohol abuse/addiction and withdraws
The Doctor, front man to the Hellboys, was always the wild child of the bunch but after a brief band break up he came back wilder than ever. In and out of rehab and jail his agent has had enough and calls on one Doctor Clara Oswald to hopefully put him back in line once and for all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning might be a little too crazy. Hopefully just enough crazy for everyone to want more.

The Doctor, front man to the Hellboys, was always the wild child of the bunch but it was the way Rock and Punk had become with Queen adding the sense of theatrics to it's show, everyone had to be that way just to get sales. The band broke up after its five years of celebrity status when the Doctor found love, not in drugs but a woman that was just as wild and took his focus sadly from the group. The break up didn't last long as the group surprised the world coming back together two years later with the Doctor being even wilder than ever. Paparazzi photos showing him in provocative positions with prostitutes, getting arrested for one of many various reasons and so much more that put him in line with the other famous front-lining substance abusing rock stars the world came to know but the sales of their albums soared fueling the fire to the Doctors down ward spiral.

 

 

The band, sans the Doctor, came rushing out to the mob of fans waiting at the back door after a late night concert, they waved and signed autographs as they were ushered to the limo to be taken back so they could all go home. The Doctor slowly sauntered out minutes later, wearing a half buttoned white dress shirt and plaid pants, to which the crowd screamed louder and fought against the security that was keeping them away from the path to his personal limo. Sunglasses hid the fact that he was still under the influence of whatever concoction he had made up that day but no one cared as they all wanted him and he reveled in it. Two blonde girls came up behind him on either side, twins that looked and dressed in the same scantily clad outfit, and walked with him to the limo clambering inside.

As soon as the door was shut the Doctor was tongue deep into the mouth of one of the twins while the other was unzipping his pants, pulling his still flaccid member out of his pants and into her mouth slowly sucking on it making it harden slowly.

The Doctor pulled away from the first blonde and groaned as his hand gripped into the hair of the other, "Mmmm, baby right there."

A voice from the other other side of the limo the darkness had hid her till they were on the motorway where the lights were illuminating her when they passed, "Ahem."

"Well hello." He pulled the glasses down just enough so they wouldn't block the much needed lamp light to view the pant suited brown haired woman sitting down the way, "I didn't call for a third," he turned to look to the first blonde, "does your pimp have a special going on? Pay for twins and get a dominatrix as well?"

The first blonde giggled at the joke and looked over to get a better view, "I never seen her before."

The woman spoke up sternly, "Your agent asked me to be here, Mr smith."

He moaned again as his hips worked his cock deeper into the other blondes mouth, "I always thought Missy was a right cunt. This is," he suddenly hissed midsentence, "oi watch the teeth, a very nice change from all those stuck up doctors to fix me. Also call me the Doctor, Miss?"

"Doctor Oswald." Doctor Clara Oswald was her name in fact but she never gave her first name as she felt that made it a personal affair, which in treating someone with problems never made it any easier only worse.

He leaned his head back while he groaned, in pleasure from the blonde on his cock and frustration that his agent Missy was still trying to stop this so called addiction, "Still a cunt."

Clara frowned she had been expecting the limo to be just her and the man that insisted he be called Doctor as well but someone didn't tell the hookers. "Mr Smith I would appreciate it if you didn't continue your activities in front of me."

He smirked,"Then look away or join in."

Clara frowned and crawled over, as walking in a moving car would have been difficult, and pulled the blonde off of him, "Off."

He grinned as she knelt between his legs her hands sliding up his thighs thinking that she really wasn't a doctor at all but another hooker, "Oh my." Then pain surged through his groin as she had quickly grabbed hold of the zipper and pulled up with the teeth of the enclosing zipper nipping at his cock, "Ow! OW!" He flailed curling up into a ball for a moment as he undid himself checking the damage she just did. "Fuckin' bitch."

Clara glared to him, "Now you're going to listen," she pointed to the two blondes who had moved to the other side once she had zipped him in his pants, "these two are going back to whatever sewer they came from and I am going to do my job for the next two weeks Mr Smith."

He hissed as he painfully put himself back away into his pants and re-zipped himself looking over to her, "Are you really not a dom? And please for the last time call me Doctor."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, "Yes Mr Smith, and I'm very much more a doctor than you are."

He pointed to the twins on the other side "Could I honestly just have one shag with them? TWINS!" His hands made a grasping motion at them, "Beautiful blonde twins."

"No, Mr Smith regardless of whatever sexual bucket list you have I am here to correct your behavior."

He sighed and sat back up glaring back to her as she still knelt in front of him, "Yes same, old same old. I run, I fetch, I heel, and bark like a rightly trained dog and then get back to play time after the overly paid shrink has left me." He smirked looking over to the twins once again, "So in two weeks loves I'll get to feel that lovely puss-- "

"Good grief Mr Smith."

"What?" He chuckled, "I can't say you're a virgin because you knew how to work a zipper on my cock."

"This discussion isn't going any further Mr Smith."

"Alright then, what's your name?"

"I've told you it."

"First name, since you know mine figured it would be best to know yours." He smirked as he watched her roll her eyes again and then noticed how she was seated that the dress shirt was revealing a very lacy bra cradling her breasts, which looked firm and round something to be proud of if he ever got the chance to hold them.

"This is a business relationship Mr Smith and shall be conducted as such." She sighed as she realized he was looking down her low cut dress shirt and pushed her fingers against his chin to bring his attention back to her face, "Eyes up here."

He smiled softly speaking to her in an attempt to flirt, "Oooh beauties, they are so round."

"I hope you are talking about my eyes."

"That's something to keep to myself."

"Fair enough."

He grinned staring at her large brown eyes, "Though your eyes are very beautifully round as well."

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos!

The Doctor stormed into the large foyer of his home, it wasn't an insanely large mansion but it was a decently sized house that could impress anyone, and then turned around glaring to her as she followed him inside as the limo pulling away, "Come on, if you're gonna keep me limp for two weeks you could have at least let me have a good shag. I paid top dollar for those twins for two weeks."

Clara smirked at his desperate attempt to persuade her, "For a man in his late 50s I would expect something better than acting like a horny teenager or a twenty year old."

He sighed then smirked, "I thought the medical community commended the thought that someone like me can have the stamina of a twenty year old."

"I'm glad you can last at least five minutes."

He gasped and grabbed at his stomach in theatrics, he did have to admit it was a good verbal joust and gave him insight that he might be in over his head this time, "Oh, ouch, low blow."

Clara smirked, there was nothing less impressive that he could still show off when he wasn't in front of thousands of screaming fans, "Hopefully that will at least stop you from trying to impress me to get me to sleep with you."

He laughed going to a near by liquor cabinet, he could at least try to have a drink before going to bed, "Never." He opened it up seeing that every bottle, flask and decanter in it was empty and turned to her glaring, "where's my shit?"

She stood at a distance standing in a way to show that she was the one that was going to be running the show not him, "Gone, I had a team go through every nook and cranny of this house to get rid of any alcohol, illegal drugs and anything else that you have been doing."

He huffed and slammed the door shut turning back to her staring at her in disbelief, "All this because I tried to shag a chair?"

"In broad daylight and in public, while under the influence of multiple substances."

"Hey don't blame me,” he laughed as bits and pieces of the memory came through, it had been a weird trip that day, “blame my dealer for not having my usual."

Clara sighed, "Mr Smith, do not blame this on others."

He once again put on a show falling to his knees clasping his hands together begging once again, "Oh yes mistress, I've been a very bad boy don't hurt me.” He glared, “is that what you want me to start doing? Crawl around on my knees begging forgiveness?”

“No you're going to act like a civilized human being."

"A civilized human being would have a full bottle in his hand and twins in his bed to fuck for the next two weeks thank you very much." He groaned as his joints were tired and pained as he started to stand up using the furniture nearby to get up and then started to walk away starting to head upstairs to his bedroom.

She watched him seeing if the pain and movement was real or another layer of theatrics, “Where are you going?”

The Doctor sighed pausing at the bottom of the stairs, the high was starting to wear off which he would have fixed if his cabinets had been full of liquor but he had to keep up the act, “Up to my room to sit there and pretend to go to bed and then make my escape to which I'll find out the windows and doors have been locked and I paw around like a disobedient puppy.”

“Sorry to change your story but they won't be locked.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Wow, take my stuff but not to lock me inside.”

“Mr Smith I'm putting my trust in you to help get yourself clean.”

He shook his head,“You mean to stop making a fool of myself so my agent can still roll in cushy money for a few years longer?”

“I do not care of your agents intentions for the intervention but I will do my job because it will benefit you.”

“As I said before I've done this song and dance before.” He turned around and waved his hands as he spoke, “Get 'clean' and then start back up once again because I love it, it's apart of me.”

“That's because they didn't do their jobs right. Didn't think to ask about that woman you had been dating had they?”

_Ah someone did their homework,_ he thought, “She left me simple as that. I'll make sure to give my love story to Taylor Swift she's good at expressing those tales. Hellboys are more into death and pain.

Clara smirked, “Quite.”

He smirked and scoffed, “I doubt you've even heard my music.”

“I have and I know you write it yourself, you always have.”

“How do you know?”

“Because your story isn't a Taylor Swift tale, it's about death and pain especially after the group came back together.”

“Or you'll come to realize I really do just like to get drunk and high and fuck.” He walked over getting close to her and softly spoke with a sly smile, “I'm pretty sure by the end of all this I'll know your name and have my cock so deep inside you-” He was promptly stopped in his sentence by her hand smacking his face to which he reeled back from slightly.

Clara glared at him furious that he was keeping up the same train of thought and quickly went up the stairs to another one of the bedrooms that she claimed, “Good night, Mr Smith.”

He sighed and leaned against the banister, “You know it won't be.”

 

After slowly trudging up the stairs he made it to his bedroom, “At least I can get a good fuckin' show in before I gotta deal with this stupid shit.” He changed through the channels on the television to the ones for the cameras hidden around the house, both a security measure and one of a voyeuristic nature, finding that the ones to her room were blacked out, “Of course she found the cameras.” He grinned as a thought came into his head as he had cameras installed into his room too.

Clara sighed as she walked out of the bath drying her hair and settled into her most comfy set of pajamas. She sat on the edge of the bed looking to the monitors that showed the cameras to around the house and looked to the one focused on his room noticing him on his bed, staring to the camera, pants down to his thighs and masturbating. She sighed and shook her head, “Ugh of course he would.”

 

The Doctor tried a few minutes more to masturbate to the finish line only to struggle as he grew soft as his round the clock high had ended and the pain had started to trickle back slowly. He pulled his pants back up, tucked himself inside and kicked his shoes off, it was going to be a hell of a two weeks but he knew he would be soon back to the comfort that he knew once she left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usual warning don't get too comfy with my chapters popping up this fast I might have a lul in writing them


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to remind myself that I had a gratuitous smut tag on before I went into the roller coaster of angst.
> 
> Let there be twins and consequences!

The Doctor laid in his bed as it was nearing two in the morning he was tired, horny and in some pain. He heard a small tapping on his balcony doors and turned his head to see the twins standing on the balcony, waving and giggling. He scurried out of bed the best he could to the doors and opened them grinning that they found their way onto the property and climbed up to his bedroom, “ladies you're gonna get me in trouble.”

They both pouted playfully with one leading off, “but you paid such good money we couldn't just leave you without a good time. Luckily your driver was easy to persuade to take us back.”

He pouted with them and groaned as they pushed themselves on either side of him as their hands rubbing slowly all around his body, “sadly I think tonight won't be happening, can't get him up no matter how beautiful and wet you are.”

The twins giggled with the one behind him speaking, “we got a fix for that.”

“You know I can't, she'd be knocking down this door,” he pointed behind him towards one of the hidden cameras in the room, “I have cameras in here.”

The twin in front smirked and shook out from a small bottle a small blue pill into her hand, “Just a little magical blue pill.”

The Doctor chuckled he was actually slightly surprised that they, or at least one of them, had viagra, “You carry that?”

The twin behind him pushed herself against him harder softly speaking in his ear, “Sometimes we're a little much for men.”

The twin in front smirked, “Takes a bit to get you going but it works for hours.”

He groaned, hours is what he would love to do but was hoping that hours is what he could do, “Smart and beautiful.” He carefully picked the pill up and popped it into his mouth swallowing it, “Just one?”

“Just one to handle the both of us.”

The Doctor grinned his hands gripping at the waist of the twin in front of him, he had been delaying them a little bit to see what the so-called 'real' doctor would do but was surprised she hadn't knocked down the door yet. “I think we need to be quiet for this otherwise we'll wake the guard.”

The twins had made the Doctor lay down in the middle of his bed while both of them slowly worked to rid him of his clothing and then gave him the honor watching them strip each other of theirs. “What are your names?” Names, he loved names especially when having sex. Especially when women were moaning his name or moaning to when his Scottish brogue was groaning theirs.

They answered in their own right, “Victoria,” and “Veronica,” with Veronica continuing on looking to her sister smiling, “But we know you might mix us up, happens all the time.”

He took hold of his slowly hardening member slowly stroking himself and grinning to the two girls who were slowly and seductively climbing into the bed on either side of him, “so which lovely mouth was on my cock earlier?”

Veronica waved her hand and giggled, “I was but it's only fair my sister gets it now.”

The Doctor leaned his head back with a groan before looking back down to the both of them, “I love when sisters share.”

Victoria smiled laying down between his legs taking over stroking his cock while Veronica slid up beside him gently kissing him on the lips. His mind briefly thought about how great it would have felt if he was still high, the heightened sensations of a mouth viciously sucking on his cock, hands rolling over his body and a mouth sucking on his lips, he could understand why any normal man would blow his load right then.

Victoria slid up on his other side a few minutes later her hand still stroking his full hard member planting soft kisses against his chest as he stayed lip locked with her sister, “now the tough question which one do you want to fuck first?”

He groaned, it was a tough question especially when they were practically identical and currently all the blood was down south, but he rolled himself into Veronica whom he was currently attached to and slid himself inside. He thrust hard and deep into her as her sister watched beside them, it actually was a weird feeling to have someone watching now that he thought about it but the thought passed as he was determined to do was to bring the the blonde his cock was sliding in and out of to orgasm.

“Doctor,” Victoria leaned over and moaned in his ear, “sit up.”

 

 

Clara's eyes shot wide open as she realized that the moaning in the dream she was having wasn't a dream and as she turned to the monitors she saw that the two prostitutes, one on top of the other, had somehow managed to get back inside and that the Doctor, who was behind the slut sandwich, was in the midst of fucking them. The thought didn't pass that she was glad she was in decent sleepwear as she rushed down and slammed open the door as the Doctor was loudly groaning his statement that he was cumming as he pushed up against the twin on top. “Get the fuck out now!”

The twins started to clamber out of the bed grabbing their clothes as they rushed out of the bedroom and into the foyer to get dressed and somehow make it home. The Doctor sprawled out on the bed laughing, his cock hardened once again slick with the remnants of his adventure, “jealous?”

She glared to him and quickly rushed up and grabbed him painfully by the balls, “Did they fucking give you anything?”

“FUCK!” He writhed as her grip became tighter, “A fuckin' blue pill! I was limp!”

“Anything else?!”

He gasped in pain as he felt her nails start to dig into the most sensitive parts, “No! God no!”

“Consider this your 'one shag' and hope that those women didn't have anything.” She let go making a face as she looked at the mess that had gotten onto her hand and held it out away from herself so she could wash it off vigorously, “Also there will be extra eyes around here for now on because of that.”

He curled himself into a ball cupping himself trying to rid himself of the lingering pain she had caused looking up to her, “But they came -”

Clara glared, “No! You could have fucking told them to piss off!”

He smirked, “But I'm a guy and they were twins who we're very, very willing to have sex with me.”

“You're a 58 year old man who needs to fucking grow up!” She stared him down in disgust and disappointment before turning around and slamming the door closed behind her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also holy crap on the response to this fic. Thank you so so much!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments!

The alarm blared on the nightstand waking a hardly slept Clara up the next morning, she sighed recalling last nights events and rubbed her face with her hands. Looking over to the monitor after she awoke she saw the Doctor sitting in a chair in the corner of his room smoking, he had at least put pants on sometime along with wrapping himself in one of the bed sheets during the night. He looked like he hadn't slept at all, either due to what happened or to craving a need for a fix.

 

The Doctor sat and sighed stamping out another cigarette in the ash tray, his hands had a slight shake to them and on top of the not being able to sleep he knew the effects of withdrawal were starting to poke its ugly head out as the effects had come early. He looked over to see Clara walk in with a small tray, “What's that?”

She smirked and put the tray down near by where he saw a plate of scones, a glass of water and two cups of coffee on it, “Scones and coffee.”

He sighed and looked away, his stomach suddenly did a flip as the thought of food was making him nauseous, “No, no thanks it'll probably end up in the toilet.”

She held out her hand that had been hiding a dose of pills in their packaging,“With a special topping.”

He glanced over seeing it, he knew exactly what it was but he needed to see the other sides of her character apart from one that was aggressive and groin damaging, “Thought you were trying to keep me drug free, not give me any?”

“Medication for the withdrawal.”

He nodded playing along taking the dose of medication and unwrapping it, “So why are you being kind to me on my way through hell when you kindly told me to grow up last night?”

“You know it can be dangerous going through this.” She sighed, thinking to last night, “So, um, those girls last night seriously only had viagra?”

“They didn't give me anything else but I'm still trying to figure out where they had hid the bottle,” he popped the pills in his mouth and smirked at the thought of his comment, “they weren't carrying purses.”

Clara giggled, “You'd be amazed.”

The comment perked his interest but he tried not to show how much of an interest it aroused him as he took one of the cups of coffee to sip at, “Oh?”

She smirked as she knew she had started to walk into another innuendo and she took the other cup of coffee, “Patients that had friends or girlfriends bring stuff in and try to hide from the guards. You can tell when someone's uncomfortable.”

“Oh,” of course that was the reason as he had a few prostitutes sneak stuff past the guards and doctors from his last few detox attempts. He sighed as he rubbed his face putting the half finished cup down reaching for the water instead as the drink wasn't going over so well, “Thank you.”

Clara smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, “Rather not have another great artist go before his time.”

“So did you jump on the opportunity to be my carer because you're a fan or you just wanted the money?”

“Neither but I am a fan.” She smirked, “Sadly enough I'm the only female resident at the clinic and your agent wanted to try a female doctor this time.”

“Ah, figured tits might be the answer.” He eyed her, she was showing that she was tired as she had never done something like this before, “Though seems like I got ferocious beast.”

“Mr Smith while I am not like the other doctors you've dealt with, I do get my patients clean and care that they keep that way.”

He chuckled and pointed to the bathroom, “There's a Jacuzzi in the bathroom if you want me to get clean, I'm already down to my pants.”

Clara sighed she knew he was trying to rile her up more for another response but luckily in her tired state she was able to stave off his intentions,“You know what I mean Mr Smith.”

“I don't know you're in your pajamas, in my bedroom.”

She put the cup down and glared at him, “Because like you I hardly slept.”

The medication was easing his nausea, he quickly took a scone to hide the slight shake to his hands if he were to normally reach for something, “Oh, I had a good reason to not sleep.”

“Joint pain, along with shaking hands and chills yeah?” She pointed to the sheet that was still pooled around his seat, “They started earlier this time because you hadn't had someone try in a while. Read all the charts that most of your previous doctors wrote.”

“Ah so my attempts to distract you will no longer work?” He took a small bite of the scone testing his stomach, though the evidence they were packaged made him make a face.

“No they won't. Though I do need to apologize for the slap, it was uncalled for.”

“I deserved it. First time anyone really did it in quite sometime.” He smirked and looked at her in curiosity, “Though no apologies on the death grip last night?”

Clara shook her head with determination, “Hell no, I needed to make sure you didn't take anything else.”

“Fair enough.” He put the scone down and sighed grabbing one of the few remaining cigarettes and lit up.

She smirked as she noticed him not interested in the food taking a guess that he was used to freshly made ones instead of store made, “sorry I don't know how to make scones and asked your driver to get something.”

“Probably wouldn't have been able to make them anyway, nothing really in the house.”

“More like it's been in the house too long and gained sentience.”

The Doctor chuckled, “been on tour for a couple months and I think I don't have a house keeper anymore.”

“I wouldn't want to stay here too if I had to clean up after drug addicts and hookers.”

“Yet you're here with a tray of coffee and scones.”

“I'm here to detox you Mr Smith not be your maid.”

He raised an eyebrow in thought, “I don't know you might look good in a maids outfit.”

Clara sighed, “of course I walked into that one.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Angsty chapters ahead


	5. Chapter 5

Clara had hoped that this night would be uneventful as she had given the Doctor another dose of meds to help, or hopefully help, him rest through the night. She was surprised when she awoke to a still darkened room looking over to her clock seeing it was nearing four in the morning, she had stayed up the whole day on a few hours of sleep she figured she would have at least woken up around eight when her alarm would have blared. Sighing she got up to check on the Doctor, who probably would be up as well as the medication would have been losing its effect by now.

She walked in noticing the bed was empty but the bathroom light was on, “Mr. Smith?” She peeked in noticing he was on the floor on his side, “fuck.”

The Doctor groaned and shifted waking up from his half asleep state realizing Clara had come in seeing him on the floor, “I'm okay.”

She rushed in noticing blood on him, “Why is there blood?” She watched him try to start sitting up and moved to kneel down beside him holding him down to make sure it was nothing too serious.

He sighed with a light laugh, embarrassed that something like this happened, “Ran into the door tryin' to stumble in here to stick my head in the loo.”

Clara frowned as he turned his head showing the large, still slightly bleeding gash on his forehead, “Wow speedy you really did go headlong into it.”

He chuckled slightly painfully, he was still feeling sick along with a massive headache from running head long into the door frame, “I know, I was there.”

“Why didn't you call me? This is somewhat serious.”

“I was sort of busy reliving myself of my stomach and then trying not to after the fact.” He sighed, “must have fell asleep afterwards.”

“Can you sit up?”

“Maybe room's been spinning.”

“Okay just wait I'll go get some things.” She absentmindedly gave him a small pat on the arm before she stood up and went out to get a first aid kit.

 

 

The Doctor had closed his eyes as the light was aggravating his headache more when after a few moments he suddenly felt a hand lift a eyelid up and a very bright light shining in his eye causing him to writhe away, “What are you doing?!”

Clara smirked, “Vitals, I really do have to make sure you're okay.”

“I'm fine.”

She huffed gently grabbing his wrist to take his pulse, “You might feel 'fine' but something could say you're not.”

He groaned starting to become agitated, he just wanted the night to be over, “Could we seriously do that later or something?”

“Alright fine.” She sighed helping him to sit up against the wall and started to work on cleaning the wound on his head, she noticed him become uncomfortable either by what she was doing or by something else, “Everything okay?”

“Y-yeah,” he made another groan as he took a breath like he was trying to not become sick again, “what you're doing isn't agreeing with my stomach.”

“Did you need to - ”

He closed his eyes trying to focus on something else, “No, just probably hurry up though.”

Clara grimaced, if it was one thing she always hated was being vomited on and shifted so he could have a straight line to the toilet that somewhat behind her trying to quickly finish bandaging the wound in record time, “Done.” Just as she spoke he lunged forward retching a few more times into the toilet.

He groaned after leaning back against the wall, “God I fucking hate this part all the fucking time.”

She frowned as she stepped away throwing away her gloves and other trash, “So why haven't you stopped if you hate doing this?”

“Just a stupid old man.”

“Hey you wouldn't be selling records world wide if you were a stupid old man.”

The Doctor sighed and looked up to her, he was tired and he wasn't exactly wanting to sleep in the bathroom, “C-can I go back to bed now please?”

“Need some help up?”

He nodded slowly taking hold of her outstretched hand and took him time standing up, the dizziness wasn't there as much as it was there but the both of them patiently took their time. She help lead him over to his bed which seemed farther away than it really was but as he sat down in the pillowy softness he felt better.

 

The Doctor looked up to Clara and to her face, she really did have beautiful eyes, safe and caring, something he could wake up to knowing that she was watching him especially after tonight, “I'm sure this is against the rules, lay in bed with me?”

“It very much is because it's probably going to lead you into trying to have sex with me.”

“You think I'm interested in sex after I just been sick? I just want to have someone in the same bed with me please.” He frowned this was another part of detox he hated, regardless of her watching and being in another room he couldn't take the feeling like it was just him against the world and no one was there with him, “I-I just don't like being alone in my room.”

Clara frowned, she didn't know if this was him stooping dangerously low or he really was desperate but either way she couldn't, “Mr Smith.”

A tired smirk came across his face trying to lighten the situation and to also maybe appeal to the doctor side of her, “You'll know if I made a run into the door again.”

“No, I'm sorry.”

“Right.” He sighed and rolled the rest of the way into bed facing away from her, “sorry to even ask.”

 

Clara walked back into her room after cleaning up and putting the first aid back away and sat down looking at the camera monitoring his room, his hand had covered his face as he slowly rocked in bed. She couldn't understand it as for two, well around six hours, he had slept alone, maybe he really was telling the truth and didn't like being lonely as the previous medical files his agent had given her had stated he had practically had a hooker every night and he was very agitated during the detox when he couldn't have them anymore. She sighed at the thought as that meant she had to watch him now to make sure he doesn't do anything dramatic, which was something she never liked dealing with.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little warning: few lines at the end mention/discuss suicide

Clara's body had given up and fell asleep after an hour of watching the Doctor just lay in bed. She fell off and onto the floor as the alarm woke her up and she clamored to the monitor seeing the he had moved his chair and sat down next to his dresser looking out the balcony doors. After getting dressed into something other than pajamas this morning she walked in with breakfast and her bag with a smile on her face, “How are you feeling this morning?”

He sighed replying still agitated from last night, “Like utter shit.”

She frowned as she came around and saw the bags under his eyes, “Mind if I do vitals now?”

The Doctor rolled his eyes, “Whatever.” He then sighed once again, his tone changing from agitation to sadness, “I'm a fuck up.”

Clara started to do standard vitals while watching his facial expressions, she was still concerned if what he wanted last night was just a ruse or an actual desperate need that was caused by something deeper, “What makes you say that?”

His eyes looked down to her hand as she took his pulse, “I-I shouldn't have have broke up the band, they could have picked me up.”

She moved her hand after she was finished swearing that she felt his hand almost try to grasp at hers, “Was it because of that woman?”

He sighed and looked back up to her face, “Y-yes.”

“Did she do drugs?”

“No.”

“What did she do?”

He chuckled softly, “Married me,” he paused for a moment as he relived the memory, “more like I married her.”

“So why did she leave you?”

He exhaled shifting in his seat as Clara put all her things back, “Because the universe has a very funny fuckin' sense of humor.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“T-think we've talked about it enough.” He glared towards her as she looked back to him clearly becoming agitated by the questions, “Got more glorious fuckin' days to talk about it.”

Clara smiled and gave him a sympathetic smile, it was never a good idea to rush things, “It's alright Mr Smith.”

His hands clenched at the arms of the chair leaning forward towards her as he started to shout, “I am the Doctor! There is no fuckin' 'Mr Smith' and no matter how fuckin' hard you try to bring that fuckin' pussy back he is NO MORE! Get the fuck out of my room!”

Clara looked at him not in fear that he might do something but she needed to move for the same reason which caused her to quickly decide to grab her medical bag and run out. The Doctor leaned back into his chair as he started to weep from the realization of what he just done, the woman was just trying to help him and he just screamed at her.

 

 

The Doctor walked out of the bedroom after what seemed like an hour, he wanted to apologize to her for his rudeness, it had been uncalled for as he really wasn't a mean person, he was just a stupid man that was going through the worst parts of withdrawals. He walked up to her room noticing the door with Clara furiously pacing back and forth on her mobile, “You know what, I'm about to take you up on that offer because you're making this impossible to do my job especially when he can cause harm to himself or others!”

He could hear what sounded like his agents high pitch voice squealing out of the phone causing Clara to pull it away from her ear and then ending the call throwing it onto the bed, “Take up what offer?”

She quickly turned around surprised that he had come to her room and had hoped he hadn't heard the whole phone call, “Nothing.”

“You can't handle me anymore,” He furrowed his brow to her he hated being lied to and with how his moods were it quickly set him off once again, “need me to go into a facility is that it?”

“No.”

He shook his head, he could take a guess that was what the conversation was about and why his agent was screaming at her, “Just fuckin' give me my life back and you can go on your merry way because I'm not going to a fucking hospital.”

“I am trying to get you your life back the easiest way I can.”

He laughed with a smirk, “Well saying you don't have my dealers number it really would be difficult.”

“Your real life back.”

“Sorry sweetheart that life died and when you realize that then we can all be happy.” He walked over to glare down to her, “You can Scrooge McDuck around in all the money you've got so far and I can go back to swimming in the fields of hookers and blow.”

“You need to tell me what the hell happened because clearly it is the cause to why you're 'swimming in fields of hookers and blow'.”

“Over my dead body.”

Clara frowned, “Don't say that.”

“We both know it's bound to happen soon.” He bent down to get closer and more into her face, “And you're either going to give me my god damn drugs back or pronounce me dead.”

“So basically the same thing.”

The Doctors lips turned into a sadistic smirk on his face, “No, one actually lets me have fun while the other... I'm sure you've seen how the other goes.” He turned and walked out of her room slamming the door shut.

Clara stood staring at her door, she didn't know what to think now apart from the fact that she was going to take a nap and a lot of coffee before going into the next night.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: attempted suicide

It was almost like the calm before the storm, after the Doctor had done was withdrawn for the next few days. Sadly Clara tried to have nice conversations with him over his interests and other items but it didn't work to inspire anything. As Clara rushed into the Doctors room she gasped as she saw that he was on the edge of his balcony, while a jump from the height wouldn't kill him the empty pool below adding extra the needed height would and she regretted not forcing him to move to another room. “Mr Smith!”

The Doctor didn't look back only screamed in reply, his knuckles white from holding onto the edge stating that he had been there for a while, “Leave me the fuck alone!”

“Please Mr Smith come inside.” Clara tried to silently make her way closer to him trying not to startle or force him to consider letting go, “John please.”

“Then what?! I-I just want to go,” he looked up to the starry night sky for a moment before shouting out, “why won't you just fucking let me go!”

Clara held out her hand regardless of him looking back to see it, it was only in hope that he would look back to her, “John, please just give me your hand.”

“No!”

“John there are other people that care about you.”

He shifted uneasy trying to keep his grip on the railing, “Only care about me makin' fucking money.”

“Those aren't friends, I'm sure you have friends John. Ones that care about you and want to get you clean, like me, please, do it for me.” She had moved closer and moved towards the balcony to hopefully get into his view, she was desperate to get him to stop focusing on completing his task and get his mind on her, “Clara”

“What?”

“That's my name,” she moved a few steps closer,“Clara Oswald.”

“You think that's going to work?” He chuckled shaking his head, “Tell me your name, make me go all sappy and not do it because I know your name?”

“Then if you go I go with you.”

He gasped as he felt her rush up behind him with her arms grip around his chest and hands interlocking with themselves desperate to hang on,“What?! No!” He wriggled and struggled not letting go of the railing but wanting to pry her arms off of him but that would mean he would fall right after and he wasn't ready yet, “Get off!”

“You're an idol to a lot of people and if you die like this some of them will think it will be alright to do the same, like right now if you jump.”

He finally opened his eyes and looked down to the drop below then to her arms around him, the quick flash of sanity struck him like a smack in a face, like her smacking him in the face, “Help me.”

“That's what I'm trying to do.”

“No back over the railing,” he sighed as he started to weep, “I-I'm sorry.”

 

A guard, who had spotted him on the edge, rushed in to seeing the both of them on the floor just inside the bedroom, the Doctor curled up with his head against Clara who cradled and rocked him as he cried, “Is everything okay?”

Clara nodded, “Yes.”

“Do you need me to call anyone?”

She shook her head, “No I'll handle it thank you.”

The guard looked at her in surprise, “Y-you sure? He just tried to -”

Clara looked up to the guard with a furrow brow sternly speaking to him, “I know what he just tried to do and now he's back inside. Thank you.”

He still had a worried look about him but wasn't going to lose his job because he thought the man he was sent to protect needed a trip to hospital, “Okay....”

The Doctor sniffled curling up more against her, “W-will you stay with me this time?”

“Yes.”

 

 

 

Clara awoke in bed to the light of what she thought was the afternoon sun, trying to move to look to the clock only being stopped by a still softly snoring Doctor whose head was laying on her stomach and his arms clung against her. Sighing she moved a few pillows out of the way finally seeing on the alarm clock that it was around four in the afternoon, they finally both had a decent nights sleep but wish it hadn't taken a near death experience for it to come around. That also meant that she was going to have to use the loo soon and was unsure how his sleeping body would react to her trying to move away from him.

“John?” She smirked as he moved a bit as she repeatedly spoke his name before starting to run her fingers gently through his silver curls, “John I have to use the loo and you're on me.”

The Doctor gave a happy sigh as he started to speak shifting to look to her as he opened his eyes, “I'm sorry darling you're going to have to -,” his face turned to surprise and sadness, “sorry, doctor.”

“Dreaming of her?”

He nodded sadly shifting himself off of her and curling up facing away from Clara on his side of the bed, “she would do the same thing.”

“Oh I'm sorry.”

“You didn't know.”

Clara got up and quickly used the bathroom to hopefully keep his interest in talking when she came back out. “Is that why you wanted me to stay with you? Help you dream of her?”

He felt her climb back into bed, “I really don't want to talk about this anymore.”

“John this is clearly what caused you to start down this path. You can't deny it anymore.” Clara was now adamant to get him to talk anyway possible even if that meant breaking rules. She slowly moved towards him spooning up against his back and put an arm around him, “I want to help you.”

“What are you doing?”

“I'm making you comfortable.”

“But you said that's against the rules.”

“Well after last night I think I need a break from being a doctor so let's just have a chat between John and Clara.” She smirked and then giggled at the embarrassing thought of what she was going to say next, “The Doctor and Clara the dom, since you thought me so.”

“The Doctor and just Clara would be okay.”

“Why not John anymore?”

“Too generic of a name and not really rock friendly,” he let out a small laugh, “hey man hear that new John Smith album it's fucking killer dude.”

Clara laughed, “Okay I get it, Doctor.”

“Ya know I always wanted to know if when you talk to another doctor do you always call yourselves doctor?”

“If we know each other and we're not in front of patients, no.”

He sighed and just laid in bed for a few moments before finally breaking the silence, “I was married to her before the band even got formed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we figured we would just play it off as a mysterious girl friend to keep the girls wanting me more.”

Clara smirked, “Oh, I can tell you it worked very well.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes, dreamt of being that woman.” She gasped as she realized she had blurted it out, “Oh, shit, sorry.”

He did a short laugh and then sighed, “She, um, died and I tried so, so hard to keep going but I couldn't.”

“Didn't your band mates help?”

“They all thought she left. We kept them out of the loop and I just couldn't go on to explain it.”

“Who else really knows about it?”

“Just you really.”

Clara smiled and gave him a small hug of reassurance, “Hey, it's just one step to helping you get over this. Thank you.”

He sighed as his mind rolled around a question that he hoped would have a positive answer, “I know this is probably just a one night thing to finally get me to break, but will you stay with me still? Till this is over at least.”

“I'll stay till you don't want me around anymore because you need someone in your life to help pick you up again.”

He smiled, “So not married?”

“Not married.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we return you to your regularly fluffy schedule. Thanks for hanging in there guys.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments!

The Doctor looked to Clara as they had finally gotten up and were sitting in the living area, a change from the past week of him sitting in his room and Clara in hers, “Are you hungry?”

Clara smiled softly, “Are you?” She was curious and hopefully that this was the turning point for him to where he wasn't having withdrawal symptoms or cravings, though the cravings would always be a small voice in anyone's mind nagging and poking.

He nodded, “Yeah but for something other than soup and scones.”

She giggled, “well let's still have something lite just so you can get used to eating normally again.”

“You mean something that doesn't taste awful if it comes back up?”

Clara made a face and nodded, “yeah.”

“Chinese take away never gone wrong with it.”

“Really?”

He chuckled going over to a bookshelf that was in the room and rummaged for take out menus, “no not really, it's all awful coming back up regardless of what I eat, but I'm really hungry for takeaway.”

She smirked, “alright but I just need to know before you or I call that they won't be smuggling you drugs or anything.”

He turned and looked at her in surprise, “oh, no of course not but you're free to sort my food out if you want to.”

Clara was amused by the surprised look on his face, “You forgot I was here to be your doctor to detox you didn't you?”

“Yes,” he sighed with a nod, “honestly I feel like a different man. Don't know if it is finally me rid of all this shite or from what happened last night.”

“I couldn't answer that as not everyone experiences the same things.”

He walked over and handed the menu to her, “This is the first time I've been sober for a week, usually I would make the other doctors lives a living hell to where they just gave up by day four.”

Clara giggled once again, “Quite, the notes on the last one read; 'let the stupid old man rock his way to an early grave, he seems quite content on doing so.' “

He frowned remembering how he was “happy” on the continuous high which hid the pain he felt, “right.”

“John,” she patted the spot on the sofa next to her, “I'm not going to sympathize because I don't know how it feels to lose someone you love, especially one that lasted for so long.”

The Doctor sat down next to her slouching a little in the cushions, “Twenty years; three of it dating, five of it chasing her to ask her to accept my proposal and the rest of course, lovely.”

Clara smiled, she was glad he was opening up to her as that meant the rest of her time with him easier, “so how did no one figure it out?”

He looked to her like he was half paying attention, “figure what out?”

“That she was your wife.”

“Oh,” he chuckled, “she would stay home or follow us around in a number of disguises. Though near the end she just hung around as herself because we both wanted to finally share it with everyone.”

Clara was starting to become curious on what had happened but she had to be patient and not push the issue, “We should get to ordering food if we want it before night hits again.”

“I'm surprised you're not asking me how she died.”

“You'll tell me in due time, I'm not here to push or interrogate that doesn't help.”

He smiled softly, “thank you.”

 

 

\------

 

Clara woke up to an empty bed and looked around to find the Doctor while he seemed to be okay she still had to make sure he wasn't trying to get a fix in regardless of their progress, it could always be a ruse to hide the truth. She noticed the bathroom door was closed, the light was on and she could tell someone was in there by the shadows being produced from him going in front of the light. She grabbed the handle and noticed upon turning it was locked, “John? Everything alright in there?”

The Doctor mumbled in the bathroom before responding like he was a little frustrated by her intrusion, “yes perfectly just going to the bathroom.”

She worked the handle a little more announcing that the door was locked, “John I can't have you locking the door.”

“Shit.”

She sighed in hopes that he accidentally locked the door by mistake, “John please open the door.”

Sounds of shuffling and knocking things over could be heard as he sounded like he was trying to hide something, “C-can you give me like five minutes? Kind of busy.”

Clara frowned becoming more stern in her request, “John open the door now.”

“Fuck,” the soft whisper was heard through the door before he finally unlocked it and opened it revealing himself to be just in trousers, slightly agitated at her, “there, door's fucking open.”

“Going to have to pat you down too.”

He furrowed his brow to her, “Do you really?”

Clara glared at him, still clinging to the hopes that he really wasn't doing anything, “John you're acting funny and the door was locked so yes I do.”

He sighed and put his arms up behind his head, of course getting arrested multiple times one knew what to do in a pat down, “Alright.”

As she felt his front pockets she felt a pill bottle and frowned as she reached in and pulled out the small white bottle glaring harder at him, “What the hell are these?”

“Open the bottle.”

She huffed and opened it up and looked inside to the surprise of the very popular shape and blue color of the pills, “Viagra?” Her eyes instinctively went to the crotch of his pants where it was apparent he had taken one.

“That's the bottle the twins had, must have dropped or left them on the floor when they rushed out and I found them the other day, couldn't sleep tonight and well thought 'why not just have a good four hour wank'?” He put his arms back down and leaned against the counter, “So popped one and have been in here for a bit hoping I wasn't going to wake you.”

“John you should have said something especially when you found them.”

“It's just viagra.”

She rolled her eyes and closed the bottle, “You don't want to fuck with these.”

He grinned to her, “Well I do want to fuck with them.”

Clara smirked and laughed at the joke before returning to a serious look to him, “Cute, I meant if you tried to take more than just one because you started to have an urge to pop pills again, it could kill you.”

He nodded, “I understand, I'm sorry Clara.”

“Just don't lock the door.”

He slyly grinned as he unbuttoned the top of his trousers as the serious conversation was now over, “Don't you want to help me now? I mean I've been working on this for a while now, want to see how a doctors hands can work a cock other than just zipping it.”

Clara eyed him again taking a proper look at him finally he was lean maybe a little scrawny, either by genetics or because he hadn't much to eat in the past week, with a few dark mixed with grey curls adorning his chest and lower stomach. Her inner fan girl was screaming now that she was being seduced by a rock star she adored but her adult side kicked in reminding that she just had to deal with a drug addict who was just as an ass to her as any other man, “As much as it _might_ appeal to me, sadly I have to take the professional route and decline.”

He raised an eyebrow unknown if her sarcasm was truthful or just banter, “There's no camera in here.”

“I know.”

“Just a wank from those lovely hands?”

She giggled wondering if this was always the way he acted, “Did you talk to your wife this way?”

He grinned, “Sometimes.”

“Good night Mr. Smith.” Clara walked out of the room closing the door, “don't lock this please.”

“I'll be back in bed in about two hours.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little extra treat since I finished this a little quicker than expected. Sorry Inthelittledoctor, no kissing ;)

Clara could have easily gone back to sleep but her mind wandered to the soft noises in the bathroom. He wasn't loud which was either his natural state or was being quiet on purpose to tease her into submission, not that it would have been a bad thing, he was clean, she was on birth control and the both of them were horny. She was possibly more desperately in the mood than he probably was and she had just declined, only because it was very against the rules to be in a relationship with a patient and there was a camera watching. After a few moments of thought she sighed when she realized that the cameras only watched and never recorded or hope that they didn't.

She shifted around getting comfortable before she slipped a hand down under the elastic of her pajamas and knickers slipping her fingers between her folds, surprised of how wet she was by the mere moments of listening to the Doctor. Continuing to listen to the soft moans coming from the bathroom her fingers dipped into her entrance to draw up the juices to her clit as they slowly rubbed around the small soft nub. She knew she couldn't enjoy herself like she always did as by the increasing volume of his moans he was finally working his way towards an orgasm that was turning her on even more.

She held back her moans as her fingers furiously worked to try to bring her orgasm as she heard the Doctors moans that he was trying to contain to just the bathroom as he was getting near the end. _Fuck come on, I can get off quickly the first time but now I'm not able to?_ She thought to herself as she desperately tried to get herself off as she heard him groan loudly in the bathroom. She huffed stopping herself and gave into a frustrating defeat as she heard him wash up rolling over just as he opened the door to get back into bed.

The Doctor lifted the duvet and climbed into under the interestingly warmer than normal sheets, he knew that temperature and with her rolling over he knew that she was indeed interested. He got comfortable and had turned himself with his back to hers before softly speaking, “the bathroom is free if you want to finish.”

“Finish what? I was just rolling over after being woken up to your moans.”

He smirked, “that would have been a good excuse if you weren't playing with yourself with the sheets over you, it's quite cozy under here.” He slowly rolled over sliding up behind her his hand gently going to her hip as he softly whispered, “I am sorry if I did put you in a state, please finish so you don't stay up frustrated.”

Clara was surprised with the sincerity that he was showing, “I'm amused you're not offering to help.”

“You seemed to be put off by my bluntness so I decided not to. Especially if you wanted more than fingers for help.”

She chuckled for a moment, “Yes well can't do that.”

“The cameras don't record.”

“Yes, I came to realize that.”

“I can go to another room if you want me to, honest.”

Clara rolled a thought around her head, she had only known the worst part of the man laying behind her for a only a week, what the media and his albums have shown him to be for over ten years and what seemed like a more sensitive side of him for all of a few hours. “Do you want to touch me?”

He leaned closer against her his lips almost grazing her ear, “Only if you give me the permission.”

She almost forgot to breathe at that moment, almost having to pinch herself as it seemed like a dream, one of many she had dreamed of this type of situation, one that many a fan would give their souls up for for this moment. The nagging thought in her head pushed at her again that he was her patient, one that she was almost breaking a rule for to keep him calm by sleeping in his bed to going into practically sleeping with him.

“Clara, it's alright I understand. It was a bit silly of me to ask anyway, I don't want to get you into trouble.”

His voice knocked her out of her eternal fight with herself, “No.. no.” She nervously laughed, “If we do this I don't want it to be awkward, I don't want you thinking you can get away with everything because you got me off and anything else you might be thinking of. We still have a week to go.”

“After that week I'm not your patient anymore correct?”

“Right.”

“You will stay with me right? Like you promised?”

“Yes as long as it's alright that I still go to work.”

“Very.” His hands slowly moved down over her hip and to her thigh, “permission?”

“Yes.”

His other arm slid underneath and around her, his hand gently cupping her breast through her shirt as his softly kissed behind her ear, “How close did you get?”

Clara moved her leg so it rested on top of his, “not even close.”

The Doctor smiled softly as he planted a few more kisses along the back of her neck as his hand on her thigh slowly rubbed towards the inside of her thigh, “your body wanted something other than your fingers.”

“Mmmm possibly.”

His fingers finally made it to the heat between her legs slowly sliding against the fabric, underneath her shirt and softly trailing around her belly button, “how long as it been since someone has touched you?”

She moaned, “t-three years.”

He clicked his tongue a few times, “far too long.”

“Job is difficult and I usually can't get time to go on dates.”

“Shhhh,” he softly spoke into her ear again, “enough talk and excuses.” His fingers trailed back down and under the elastic slowly making their way to her hot and extremely wet core, “so wet.” His slender finger slowly slid into her entrance slowly rubbing till he found her g-spot and started to slowly tease around the area.

Clara pressed against him and moaned, “too bad you had your fun already.”

“Perhaps but there is always another day.” He nipped against her ear, “right now I just want to see you cum for me.”

“Oh god,” she moaned louder writing under his touch as he added another finger inside of her fucking her gently.

“We should do a proper meal tomorrow, in proper attire to properly slide off this body of yours.”

Oh how her inner fan just started to scream, as the burning sensation of release was finally starting to build, “W-what do you want to do with me?”

“I want to cover you in kisses before I lovingly taste you into your first orgasm of the night.” He ran the tip of tongue against the edge of her ear, “then maybe another if you wish before we fuck each other senseless for hours because that pill does wonders other than just make me hard Clara. I want to feel you cum over and over again.”

“Oh fuck,” she screamed out with a moan as she gripped his arm and the bed as she came bearing down hard on his fingers that were still fucking her through her orgasm.

The Doctor moaned as well as her walls pulsed and clenched down onto his fingers, “so is tomorrow good?”

Clara regained her breath as she finally came down from her orgasm, “yes.”

He smiled sliding his fingers out of her and from under her pants placing them in his mouth to taste her, “I can't wait.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies this took so long to write/post - I've had a lot of ideas of other stories pop in my head and actually got side tracked.

The Doctor wrung his hands together nervously, he didn't know why he was so nervous now as he didn't have to prove anything to her, apart from the fact that he needed to stay sober which had partially ruined his dinner plans since they couldn't have any form of alcohol. Maybe it was because she went back home to get a dress leaving him all alone in the house, well not completely alone as one of the guards stood by the kitchen watching him. Did he really miss real companionship that much? He smiled as he heard the door open and close with Clara conversing with the guard making sure that he had behaved, which he knew he had as he was busy cooking a meal that was almost done.

“Oh, that smells lovely,” Clara walked in to the kitchen where he was at with a garment bag in tow, “Tom said you kept out of trouble, maybe burnt something?”

The Doctor smirked, “kept out trouble yes, burnt something no.”

She smiled looking at all the pots and pans that had been used or were currently in use trying to guess what was being made before looking back to him and pointing to her bag, “Guess I'll work on getting in this and meet you in the dining room?”

“Of course.”

 

 

The Doctor rushed to get dressed as well after the food was finished and plated at the table. He was lucky that he at least had a few casual suits, only at the behest of Missy to look somewhat decent at whatever dinner she dragged him along to, which was short live after he was caught with someones wife in a closet. After dressing he rushed back down to see Clara, at least the back of her, standing near the table looking over the meals. “Hopefully you didn't wait long?”

Clara turned around smiling, eyeing his choice of a white dress shirt almost completely buttoned up and black jacket with matching trousers, “Just a few minutes, this looks so wonderful.”

He grinned taking in the the burgundy colored, crochet patterned, knee-length dress she wore, “I'm glad and you look wonderful as well.” He walked over and helped her into her seat, “it's just a really simple meal though, white cheddar pasta with broccoli and chicken.”

She waited till he sat down and took bite, “this is good.”

“At least I remember how to cook.”

 

 

They spent the time talking on minor things, more about his life than hers as he didn't know what to ask honestly. As he looked to both of their plates seeing they were finished he softly smiled, “Would you want more? Or dessert? I made my driver get some cakes.”

Clara smirked, she had expect some form of innuendo than asking about dessert, “Mr. Smith are you nervous now?”

He tried to hide his face as he started to redden with embarrassment, “Would you be upset if I said yes?”

She looked at him with surprise, especially for all the times he tried to seduce her and then last night with his fingers deep inside her it was a surprising turn for him to be nervous about sex. She carefully stood up and walked over to him making him look at her, “You shouldn't be nervous, is it because I get to see the real you instead of someone pretending to be some kind of sexual tyrannosaurus?”

The Doctor started to chuckle as he recognized the joke, “maybe.”

Clara smiled leaning over and taking his hand guiding him to stand up, “maybe I've been waiting to see the real you.”

The Doctor walked with Clara as she gently pulled him along up the stairs and towards her bedroom, “What's wrong with my room?”

“Just wanted a different room.”

He smirked, “they're both the same.”

Clara stopped in front of her door turning to face him smirking, “so?”

“Right don't argue.”

“Exactly,” she opened the door bringing her hands up to his jacket lapels pulling him into her darken room lit by various candles.

The Doctor smiled shutting the door behind him, “oh I see why now, fantasy of yours?”

Clara blushed, “maybe.”

“At least it's not whips and chains.” He put his hands on her lower back, leaning down to gently graze his lips against hers turning it into a soft kiss as he guided her backwards to her bed and laying her down.

She giggled as he left her lips slowly moving down and kissed at her jaw and neck, “I was saving that for next time.”

The Doctor smiled as he continued his path of gentle kisses against her still dressed torso, “well be gentle if you do, it would be my first time.”

“You know I'm joking right?”

He shrugged in response as he was now more focused on Clara than anything else, his hands finally coming around sliding down her sides and going under her dress rubbing the outside of her thighs up towards her hips where underwear should have been. He paused gripping at her hips and groaned, he was expecting underwear and this was the first time any woman had ever been without for him and it sent the blood rushing southward. He shoved the dress up and parted her legs with his hands going straight towards her bare pussy drawing his tongue slowly between her lips tasting the juices that had started to pool.

Clara wiggled a bit trying to rid herself of her dress pausing as his tongue was slowly lapping at her with moments of teasing as he dipped into her entrance for a brief moment. “Fuck,” she moaned once she freed herself and as his tongue buried itself deep inside her.

The Doctor gave a small chuckle, ridding himself of his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt before he dived down again to this time suckle on her clit sliding a finger inside with the reply of another satisfactory moan from her and another gasped moan as the pad of his finger hit its mark rubbing against her g-spot.

She arched her back as he pressed another finger in, her hand making its way down to him running her fingers into his hair and gripping onto him as his fingers once again bringing her closer and closer to the edge. She felt his mouth leave her clit as he moved up to lay next to her as his fingers continued to work their magic. She looked at his face of arousal as he watched her face, her biting at her lip her other hand grasping at his wrist of the hand that had his fingers buried inside her as she started to cum moaning his name, “John.”

He grinned as he watched her orgasm and then the moments of coming down from the release, “that was very sexy you know that?” He chuckled with her as she giggled, “so sexy in fact that I don't think I need one of those little pills.”

Clara smiled pushing him onto his back half rolling onto him mashing their lips together in a kiss as her hand went straight to his trousers feeling the partial erection under her hand, “still needs a bit of coaxing.”

“No pills, no more of that.” He smiled softly to her his hands roaming over her naked skin, “unless I have to of course.”

“Promise?”

“I can't promise anything but I want to very badly.”

Clara leaned over softly pressing her lips against his for a moment, “I know you can't and it's an answer I'm surprised to hear.”

“As long as you're still here with me I can keep my mind on loving you because that is a better promise I can keep.”

She looked at him in surprise, “John we've only known each other a week. Are you sure you want to use that word?”

He nodded, “very much so.” He leaned to kiss her once again with his hand sliding down to meet with hers that had been idly resting on his crotch, “we can do the serious discussion tomorrow. I think the both of us have been waiting for this.”

It was usually against her judgment to push away a conversation that needed to be discussed especially one as important as this but he was right even if it was more of a wanting fantasy than a need. Her hand started to gently grope him as his own moved to undo his trousers and push them down so she could have access. She looked down to finally get a good glance of his growing erection she was taking in her hand, it was definitely worthy of boasting even if it wasn't fully hard just yet. She slid down between his legs stroking it slowly before she flicked her tongue against the tip feeling him twitch in her hand.

“Oh please don't tease,” he groaned.

Clara giggled doing it once again, watching his head fall back into the mattress, “why not?”

“It's like bantering, it can get frustrating after a while and I would end up fucking you in frustration instead of making love to you. I want,” he groaned as she put her lips around his cock starting to suck, “want to make love to you. Oh you planned that.”

Clara moaned her answer with him groaning more, he was definitely hard now as her mouth sucked in as much as she could before letting go and crawling up straddling his waist, “maybe.” She gasped as she lowered herself partially onto his waiting cock, “Fuck.”

The Doctors hands went to her waist holding her steady, his eyes closed in concentration as he felt her very wet, tight tunnel surround him as she finally settled onto him. It had been ages since he took it slow with a woman and even longer with one that wasn't a prostitute. He looked up at her as he felt her hands gently claw at his chest as she sat on him, “everything alright?”

She nodded, her eyes closed as she concentrated on the feeling of being filled once again after so long, “Y-yeah just been a while.” He groaned as she started to slide along his cock which was hitting all the right places causing the tingling build quicker than she thought.

He gripped at her her legs as he felt the flutter of her walls mere moments before she cried out in orgasm. He groaned pushing his hips up into her as her walls clenched hard around his cock giving him the notion to roll the both of them over, his arms embraced around her as he thrust into her faster to prolong her orgasm more.

Clara arched her back, her legs wrapping around his waist, her hands clawing now at his back as he thrust harder into her, “Oh god, John. Fuck.”

The Doctor kissed along her neck, panting as he embraced her tighter groaning her name into her ear. He buried himself as deep as he could as her walls once again tightened around him now milking his pulsing member as he spilled inside her. He groaned once the pleasure finished its strong hold on him, feeling her heavily breathe under neath him as they both worked on catching their breath. “I'm sorry that wasn't hours.”

Clara laughed, holding onto him as he shifted them to properly laying on the bed with her on top once again, “We can make it up for another time.”

The Doctor smiled as he gently rubbed her back, “I'd like that.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

Clara awoke to gentle kisses against her neck, arms embraced around her with a hand softly caressing her breast, and an very apparent erection rubbing against the crevice of her ass cheeks. “I see someone is up again.”

The Doctor smiled half sleepily replying, “he has his eye for you.”

She laughed, “I also see your nervousness is over.”

“Having a very naked woman in my arms when I woke up told me that it was more than a very pleasant dream.”

“Slightly sore naked woman.”

“Just have to keep working the muscles.”

Clara smirked, “Well we can work on 'working the muscles' tonight.”

He playfully huffed pushing himself against her, “but doctor I'm in distress.”

She reached back and between them rubbing her fingers gently against his hardened member, “you'll live.”

“Don't tease me.”

“Maybe I want to tease you.”

The Doctor groaned, his hand now squeezing her breast while the other slid down her stomach, “Remember what I said about teasing.”

Clara remembered and as his arms were around her she either had to stop and hope she didn't go too far or see what would happen if she teased him further. Granted she didn't want to any more sore than what she was but she wanted him to talk dirty to her again. “What happens if I don't?”

His fingers slid between her folds finding that she was wet once again, “I roll us over, bury my cock deep into you over and over and over again.” He leaned up to nip at her ear figuring out that she was wanting to tease him, “you want me to fuck you hard, don't you?”

Clara moaned as his arousal filled voice and his fingers that were gently rubbing her clit sent a tingle through her body, “yes.”

His teeth grazed at her shoulder as he gently started to grind his hips against her pushing her gently onto her stomach with him arms untangling from her as he held himself up above her. “Turn over.”

She was half surprised that he requested her to move as she was expecting him to take her from behind with how hard his erection felt but as she turned over she saw him take her in with his eyes, sliding his tongue out to wet his lips. Even through his lustful body language Clara could see he wanted to treat her like someone that he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

The Doctor moved to sit up sliding a hand down her body before he gently caressed her legs, lifting them and spreading them open wider looking at the glistening folds just inches away from his eager cock. He groaned almost in frustration before looking up to her face, “As I don't have a third hand could you be a lovely darling and help me out here?”

Clara smiled reaching down to guide him to her entrance and gasping as he quickly filled her, the sting of soreness from last nights actions appearing briefly before being washed over by the pleasure of him filling her once more. Her hands slid up her body to the pillows above her head grasping at them as he slowly slid himself almost completely out before thrusting hard back into her causing another gasp to come from her.

He paused settling inside her once more, he wanted to continue but he wanted to make sure she was alright, “I'm not hurting you am I?”

She shook her head grinding her hips against him desperately wanting him to continue, “No just go, fuck me please.”

The Doctor let go of her legs, which she promptly wrapped around his waist loosely, leaning down holding himself above her watching every movement of her face and body that he could as he thrust into her hard and fast. The way her eyes clenched shut, her mouth slightly parted letting out small moans at first before she bit at her bottom lip moaning louder it was something he never wanted to stop seeing.

Clara opened her eyes as she felt his head into her neck feeling his hot panted breath against her skin that slowly trailed down from her shoulder to her breast before his lips wrapped around her nipple starting to suckle at it. Her hands went from gripping the pillows to the curls of his hair moaning his name as her walls started to flutter and squeeze around his thrusting cock as he had hit the right nerves leading to her sudden orgasm.

He groaned burying himself deeply into her as he spilled into her pulsing walls, he wished he could have continued on longer but couldn't blame his body for giving in as her walls squeezed him just the right way that no one could resist saying no to. He slid his arms underneath her rolling themselves over with his arms staying embraced around her giving a soft sigh of content, “I'm pretty sure all the hookers I've have had been faking because my god the way you squeeze me makes me cum every time so far.”

She chuckled, “Saying they're with someone every night versus someone who hadn't had sex in a while.”

“Of course, I do hope you enjoyed it?”

“Oh I'm probably going to feel it later today.”

They both jumped hearing the doorbell ring through the house with the Doctor raising an eyebrow, “I don't get guests and the guards wouldn't have let them in unless its,” he suddenly groaned, “Missy.”

Clara eyes went wide and started to clamor out of the bed, “She can't see us like this!”

The Doctor laughed as he got up grabbing his trousers and shirt putting them on, “Clara we're in your room, I'll go out and take care of her.”

“Okay.”

 

 

He rushed down as the bell was now being rung furiously to his frustration as he opened the door looking to his agent glaring at him, “Hello to you too.”

She arched an eyebrow, “I'm amazed it wasn't that doctor of yours but then again her mobile hasn't been on since we last spoke.”

“Sounded like an argument.”

“Yes she wanted to put you in hospital as it seemed that you were becoming a danger to yourself.” She scoffed, “you seem fine.”

“After I had to cling myself to him in hopes that he wouldn't jump off the balcony a few days ago.” Clara glared at the woman as she walked down the stairs wearing a shirt and pants that she quickly put on.

“Oh.”

“Yes oh,” she continue to eye Missy as it was the first time she had seen his agent, “why are you here anyway?”

“Mobiles been off and well I was wanting to see if my dear Doctor was on track to be let loose into the world again.”

Clara frowned, “You mean to make money again.”

Missy chortled, “Of course, it does make the world go round especially if you want to be paid.”

The Doctor huffed in thought, “Two more weeks.”

“Two weeks?!” Missy looked to him in surprise, “why?”

“I need to see if I can handle singing most of the set anymore.”

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, “it's just music.”

He glared to her before raising his voice, “It is not just music! Most of those songs are about my wife!”

She looked at him in a confused surprise,“Wife?”

“Yeah the one you called a fucking whore when we were in the papers together.”

“Not much of a wife to have left you.”

“She died!” He glared to her before muttering, “we're done here,” and slamming the door in her face. He looked to Clara in sadness, “I'm - I'm sorry.”

“No, no don't be sorry.” Clara pulled him towards him in a gentle embrace, “she didn't know, but I can understand why she's a cunt now.”

The Doctor chuckled and sniffled, “Thank you.”

 

 

Missy glared through the frosted glass seeing the two embrace and then kiss which caused an evil thought to run through her mind.

 


	12. Chapter 12

“You know when you suggested a therapy session I thought I would be laying on a couch and you sitting in a chair beside me drawing cats.” The Doctor settled down more into the bubbling water of the jacuzzi leaning his head against Clara's shoulder as her arms gently embraced around him, “Not in the jacuzzi tub sitting between your beautiful legs.”

Clara smirked soft speaking into his ear, “Well I'm not a psychologist so that's one, plus you seem more open when relaxed.”

The Doctor smiled his hands rubbing at her legs, “quite.”

She brought a hand up, wet from the water, softly running through the silver curls of his hair, “You know for the longest time I thought someone did your hair, I didn't think it to be so curly on its own.”

He sighed in a thought, “You think I should cut it? Completely grow up finally?”

She gripped his head in surprise, “You touch this hair, I'll kill you.”

He laughed in surprise, “wow.”

“Sorry,” she giggled as she went back to gently combing her fingers through his hair, “I couldn't think of you with different hair.”

“I couldn't think of it either especially with what your fingers are doing.”

“Hopefully I am not teasing?”

He gently shook his head, “No, no,” letting out a soft sigh of content, “I've missed this.”

Clara smiled lightly kissing the his ear as she touched him softly with care, “Just relax and enjoy then.”

The Doctors mind wandered a bit thinking of his wife, how it was funny that he was in the bath with another woman doing the same thing they would have done though with her sitting before him instead. He had practically erased it all by his addictions because it was all painful to keep remembering but Clara was right he was comfortable, more willing to remember what had pained him only because of her, something no prostitute was able to coax out of him other than an orgasm. “It wasn't that she died that fucked me up but how, she had went to bed early not feeling well and when I came in a few hours later she was dead.”

Clara put her arms around him once more giving him a comforting hug for finally sharing the cause of his issue, “Thank you.”

His hands gently rubbed at her arms in reply to the hug, he finally felt like a giant weight had been lifted and felt pained that he should had done this before he decided fucked his life up with drugs, “Anything else you'd like to know?”

“Have you been craving anything? Pills, alcohol?”

“I would be lying if I said no.” He sighed, “but the thought of going through all that shit again I think is helping, not sure.”

She nodded, “at least you're being honest.”

He chuckled, “well knowing what happens if you catch me doing anything naughty is very memorable and painful.”

“Also was very wrong of me to do so.”

“Though seems like something you've done before.”

“Yes though my boss wasn't pleased he looked the other way as the patient actually had finally listened, was quite stubborn.” She laughed, “Seems like once was enough especially for the whole facility.”

“Oh gained a reputation?” He smirked in thought.

“Very.”

“Well it worked.”

Clara smirked and paused a moment before continuing the questions, “When did you want to try to work on what songs you feel comfortable with?”

“Sooner the better I suppose, you'd think fans would be alright if I went with some of the old stuff?” He sighed in thought, “I really don't think I can go through with singing any of the songs after the band came back.”

“Those songs, while they mostly talk of the pain, are a memory of her, make it not a lamentation but a celebration of your time together.”

He grasped at her hands squeezing them, she was right once again to turning all the negative into a positive but it was going to take time to stop seeing it as pain, “That might take time.”

“And it's going to take time to keep you sober as well.” Clara kissed at his ear, “for the rest of your life sadly.”

He turned his head to try to look at her face, “As long as I have you by my side?”

“Well right now I'm right behind you.”

He laughed, “Cute.”

“I was thinking would it be alright if I brought a colleague in? To help that is.”

“Is everything alright?”

Clara nodded and sighed, “We just can't be doctor and patient while dating. I will eventually have to stop being your doctor or stop being your girlfriend.”

The Doctor frowned sitting up and turning around looking at her the bubbles of the jacuzzi masking her in just the right spots, not that it mattered but found it amusing, looking to her almost in a pleading manner, “Quit the job, I make your salary in a day.”

She smirked, she knew that he did any popular band did, but she enjoyed her job and she wanted a few years of a working title before she gave it up, “John I know you do but - “

“But you want to keep being a doctor, I understand.” He nodded still frowning.

Clara smiled and leaned up getting close to him lifting his chin with her fingers, “I just want to enjoy the degree I worked really hard to get, want at least use it for a few years before I give it up for a sexy rock star.”

He smiled then grinned as this was the first time she had mentioned how she saw him, “Tell me Doctor Oswald have you ever been massaged with mink fur before?”

She giggled, “What like in that James Bond film?”

“Guilty of the same but on a rug and with gloves. It is quite lovely.” He smiled and leaned in to finally give her a kiss they had been hovering at, “think that will be a good month sober celebration gift.”

“I can't wait.” She kissed him once again before pulling away and turning off the jacuzzi, “think this has been a good session.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

It was a quiet few days around the house, watching movies, cuddling, sleeping, sex, a normal lifestyle one that the Doctor forgot he had. The door had once again rung to their surprise with the Doctor opening it to reveal Missy's personal driver, a young thin man in his mid-twenties, standing there waiting, “Bob what are you doing here?”

He made a face of displeasure as he spoke, “Missy wants to speak with you at her office, in private.”

Clara frowned, after the last incident she didn't think it was wise for another meeting with his manager again or at all, ”John.”

The Doctor chuckled hearing the tone in her voice, “It's fine Clara I think I can manage besides I've been a little cooped up here.” He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, “can I go see the evil lady?”

She giggled for a moment at the joke and looked at him with concern, “She won't try to pressure you into anything?”

“Maybe a new contract for my soul but other than that no.”

Smiling once again she nodded, he was right he had been cooped up in the house a little too long and she was wanting to give him a test to see if he was going to try to sneak something in, “Alright, you will talk to me if anything troubled you during your meeting right?”

“Oh, I'll tell you all about it.”

 

 

Once they had arrived the Doctor followed Bob as he guided him through Missy's house showing him the closed door to her office before walking off. He stared at the door for a while before knocking, being surprised by Missy opening the door in only a robe and a smile, “So glad you came.”

He eyed her some more as he walked in, her hair had been done up so this wasn't just a sudden talk, this was planned, “Didn't realize this was a pajama party.”

“I've been curious if your doctor has figured out your other little hidden addiction?” Missy patted to the chair as she walked by and sat neatly on the edge of her desk in front of it. “Or does she think you're just very much infatuated with her?”

He moved the chair back a little before sitting down looking up to her, slightly confused by what she was implying, “I don't know what you mean.”

“John, the only reason why I called your wife a whore was because I had actually caught you two banging backstage many a time and I thought she was just your favorite pet.” She watched him furrow his brow to her knowing she was indeed touching a sensitive nerve once again, “As I've caught you after the fact with almost every prostitute you've paid for, I came to the conclusion you were doing it because it's an addiction.”

“Sorry to say it was the drugs, I'm fine now.”

She smirked at how quick his answer came and in desperation to end the subject, “So how often are you fucking her John?”

“I'm not.”

Missy let out a laugh, “please, I saw the two of you kiss after you slammed the door in my face and from the looks of it it was a very needy, wanting kiss.”

He tried to hide that he just been caught and raised his eyebrow in surprise, “And?”

She let out a small sly smile playing along, “Do you know it's naughty for a doctor to date, let alone fuck, a patient? Regardless of it all being between two consenting adults.”

“She's mentioned it yes.”

“Would be a pity if someone told her boss that she's fucking a patient, one that has a addiction to it.” Before he had a chance to react she promptly sat herself down in his lap sideways, crossing her legs, the robe coming away from them revealing the possibility that she wasn't wearing anything underneath, “I bet you fucked her after I did finally leave.”

His eyes wandered along her body for a few quick moments before looking up to her and the small smile on her face, “W-what do you want Missy?”

“A little quid pro quo, this for that. I'll not spill the beans on your little naughty doctor or your little obsession and you sing at the venue I'm setting up in three weeks and maybe give me a little booty call now and then.”

“I'll sing but I'm not going to fuck you.”

Missy slowly shook her head clicking her tongue in disappointment as her fingers started to trail around his chest going to one of the buttons of his shirt teasing it watching his chest rising and falling a little quicker than it had been before, “Your body is giving you away right now Doctor. The little hell boy wants to come out and play.” She squealed as he pushed her off of him, luckily catching herself before she promptly fell to her arse, as he stood up swiftly walking to the door. “Where are you going John? We're not done here.”

His hand reached for the doorknob turning at the small knob of the door lock locking the door, “Can't have anyone walking in.”

She arched her brow in surprise sitting herself back onto the edge of the desk watching him walk back to her, “and here I thought you were going to tell me to go fuck myself and slam the door once again.”

The Doctors eyes had taken more of a desperate look as his hands unbuckled his pants on his way back pushing the chair out of the way before he stopped at her standing between her legs,“I hate being teased Missy but you're right, I want to fuck every fucking moment and I don't want that to go away.” He pushed her down against the desk as he finished unzipping his trousers which pooled to the floor with his boxers, “The warm wet pussy around my cock, how it grips, tightens, gets hotter and wetter the more you fuck it.” He moaned as he watched her loosen the belt of her robe finally revealing her naked form underneath and grasped at her breast in one hand and took hold of his hardened member in another guiding and slowly pushing himself into her wet core, her legs wrapping around his waist eagerly helping him push himself deep inside of her with soft moan escaping from her lips. The Doctor smirked as he watched her part her lips and then bite at them as he slowly started to slide in and out of her as he continued his little explanation, “How fucking can be slow and loving,” he groaned at her surprised gasp as he started to thrust hard into her, “hard and loving,” his hands went to her waist gripping hard onto her as he kept his pace for a few minutes feeling her walls tighten around him as he felt her near.

Missy opened her eyes looking up to him, now close face to face to her as he had paused only moments before her orgasm was on the verge of happening, moaning with a plea, “don't stop please.”

He grinned seeing the desperation of release in her eyes, “Best of all sex can be all about just fucking hard and fast to let the rage out of you. Enjoying the pained pleasured moans filling the room as the cunt of a woman is being fucked by a 'little' hell boy.”

Missy cried out in surprise gripping at the desk as he pulled almost completely out before thrusting hard and deep into her, “Oh fuck.” She clenched her eyes shut feeling the now burning fire rise in her as he thrust hard and deep, she had hoped and planned for sex but what she didn't expect was angry rough sex.

The Doctor groaned as Missy cried out as she came writhing as he continued his pace causing her to scream his name out cumming once again with him groaning loudly as he spilled himself deep inside. He leaned forward catching his breath feeling her hands roam up his chest and neck to his face before he pulled away. “No,” he leaned down pulling his pants up zipping himself back up glaring at her, “the gentle touching and all that is for Clara. You're just a cunt to be fucked.” He stared at her for a few moments taking in her 'properly fucked' look before going to the door and unlocked it letting himself out.

Missy laid on the desk for a few moments catching her breath before her hand roamed around feeling for a small remote which she brought up into view finding the stop button causing the camera that was hidden away to beep and stop recording. “Fair enough, I got what I needed.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

The Doctor sat in the back of the car as Bob drove him home, the post-coital rush leaving him as the fear of dread now took its place giving way to the realization of what happened; Missy was blackmailing him and he gave into it all including fucking her right on her desk. Sadly Missy and his sex fueled version of himself was right, he loved sex and as now it was the only legal thing he could do and he would be damned to give it up, but why the hell did he regret doing it?

He leaned forward toward Bob, “Hey there aren't any shops on the way are there?”

Bob glanced over for a moment before returning his eyes to the road, “There's a little town coming up, why?”

“See if there is a florist or just a shop, want to get Doctor Oswald a few things.” He leaned back into his seat looking out of the window as outside world zoomed past, “Spare the details from Missy but if Doctor Oswald asks be truthful on where we went.”

“Of course.”

 

 

The young blonde haired woman behind the florists counter looked wide-eyed as the Doctor entered the shop slipping out a surprised gasp, “Oh my lord.”

He smirked towards her as he walked up, it was clear to him she was a fan as she tried to make herself more presentable, “Afternoon.”

“Goodness Doctor I-I can't believe this I listen to all your songs.” She giggled nervously before looking around and remembering she was working and he was a customer, “Sorry what can I help you with?”

“You wouldn't happen to have any orchids would you? Um purple orchids if I remember my color symbolism right.”

She was still bubbly having his presence in front of her, “Purple is admiration and respect and we do have those yes.”

He grinned and nodded, “Could I get a small arrangement please?”

“Would you like a card to go with?”

“No, thank you.”

Pausing for a moment as she went to go grab the orchids she smirked and looked at him, “Before I go and get the flowers, can I ask for a selfie?”

He raised an eyebrow in curiosity, “Selfie?”

She giggled, it had been impossible for anyone to get a photo let alone a selfie with the infamous Doctor but she had to ask or at least hold his flower request hostage till he did, “A photo of us together with my phone?”

The Doctor chuckled, he forgot about how technology had changed over the years and how phones now had cameras,“Oh! Yes right of course.” He smirked as she made a small squeal pulling her phone out of her apron and walking around the counter to pose together with him, he looked down to her gaining another idea in his head, “Want an autograph too? I know I haven't done this in a long time, took me by surprise.”

Her eyes went wide with another now louder squeal, “Oh yes! Thank you!”

As she held up her smartphone the Doctor stared at camera view on the screen realizing how much he had hardly looked at a mirror anymore. He stared at his digital reflection seeing how old he really had become till the young woman beside him nudged him asking for a smile. “Oh right picture, sorry was being fascinated by your phone.” He did a small smile and heard the click sound play off with the young woman pulling away looking to the photo.

“Great!” She looked up and grinned, “I'll be right back with your flowers.”

 

 

Clara gasped as the sight of purple orchids came into her view as the Doctor held them into her room before walking in, “Oh my goodness John.”

He grinned at her smile as she smelled the flowers, “My way of saying thank you for everything.”

“So what did Missy want?”

“Show in three weeks.” He cleared his throat as he looked at her sheepishly, he couldn't tell her everything but had to warn her somehow, “She showed interest about you and I, waved it off.”

“Well luckily my colleague agreed to take over next week when I leave so we can be together for real in a few months time.”

He looked at Clara in surprise, he didn't recall her talking about leaving at anytime, “Wait, leave?”

Clara smirked putting the flowers down for later, “Yes I can't exactly stay around here.”

The Doctor continued to look at her in surprise adding a state of confusion, “But you can and you're already here.”

She frowned looking at him realizing that she hadn't properly talked about what was going to happen, “John I thought you realized I have to leave, it's just for a few months, we can continue to talk over the phone.”

_Oh I fucked up_ , the Doctor thought as he brought his thumb up to chew on the side of it as he rolled around the realization that Clara was leaving to be safe from any accusations of a relationship with him. There was still the matter of sex though as with Clara gone he would have to take matters in his own hand or worse Missy again but it would only result in angry fucking which made him worry that that would be all he wanted by the time Clara came back into his life properly. He sighed and looked to the floor, he had fucked up and that's all that mattered and he needed to fix it, “I need to go have a wash any time I'm at Missy's her stench clings to me.”

Clara smiled lifting his head back up so he could look at her, “okay, would you like pizza for dinner?”

He smirked, “God I haven't had that in forever.”

“Good should be done soon.”

 

The Doctor stood in front of the bathroom mirror after drying himself from the shower staring at his aged form, he knew he had been getting older especially from people reminding him and when his hair got long enough to warrant a cutting but was surprised to see it for himself and it worried him. He jumped slightly as Claras voice startled him out of his thoughts. “John, what's wrong?”

He made a quick smile to her before turning back to the mirror rubbing at the grey hairs on his chest, “I, um, I hadn't see myself in a while till that selfie with the florist.” He looked back to Clara chuckling softly, “Didn't realize how old I was.”

Clara smirked as she walked in taking his hand that rubbing his chest into hers looking at the wrinkles, veins and the start of a few age spots on the back of his hand, “You have a few wrinkles but old, no way. Especially when I'm around.”

The Doctor gently cupped her face with his hands bringing her face back into his view, “You're so beautiful,” he stared into her eyes feeling the dread once again that he had sex with another woman behind her back, “I don't think I deserve you.”

“Deserve - maybe, maybe not.” She gave a small grin, “But you do need someone in your life to keep you in line.”

“Definitely have been keeping me in line,” his eyes looked to her lightly colored lips that were still smiling to him and leaned down planting a soft kiss on them for a moment, “And wanting.”

“Pizza.”

He smirked, “Is that another way to say I love you?”

Clara giggled as she patted his chest, “No, I'm reminding you of the pizza so we can eat.”

He kissed at her lips once again, “We'll eat in a bit.”

She gently put her hands onto his arms to gently pull his hands away from his face, “I'm hungry now.”

A soft growl escaped as he pulled her towards him, “Me too.”

Clara gave him a stern look, like many she had given him before, “Eat first, sex later.”

The Doctor sighed and gave one last final quick kiss before letting her go, “Alright but this is almost teasing you know.”

She giggled and spoke as she walked out, “It's just the curse of having a beautiful woman in your house.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About two weeks later from last chapter.

The Doctor glared at the aged, balding man that was seated across from him, he didn't like that he had to travel to now go see a new doctor and answering questions that he had already answered, “Do we seriously have to go through this again? I'm sure Clara has given you all the details.”

The man sitting on his side of the desk sighed, he clearly wasn't impressed with a man ten years his senior acting like a child, “Yes, Doctor Oswald has Mr Smith.”

The Doctor groaned rubbing his face, “We're going to do titles again aren't we?”

“Yes and Doctor Oswald has been upfront with me on the reason why I am handling the case.”

He looked to him in surprise, even more so that Clara would have even stated it to someone who could get her in trouble, “and?”

The man shrugged, “I've had encounters with patients before I see nothing wrong with it, it's just if certain people got wind of it while you were still under her care it wouldn't end well. It does look better that she did hand your case over.”

“I'm glad we got that out of the way.” He sighed as the man had clearly showed no interest in him apart from doing his job as normal, “Not a fan of my work are you Doctor Turner?”

Doctor Turner rolled his eyes clearly showing no interest in small talk either, “No.”

The Doctor huffed, “Glad this is just a weekly visit.”

Doctor Turner shifted a notebook towards himself and grabbed a pen starting to write as he spoke, “Quite, so how are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“No wanting any alcohol or pills?”

“I could do with a drink yeah but pills,” he shook his head and smirked slightly as his mind floated over having a nice dinner with Clara, “practically no need.”

“Tell me about your manager.”

The Doctor glared to him, Missy was something he definitely didn't want to talk about especially with her recent exploits of blackmail against him, “She's a fucking cunt, who I can't fire – for now.”

Doctor Turner raised an eyebrow towards him, paying attention to his movements and how he answered, “If you really hate her regardless of how well she does her job why can't you fire her?”

“The contract states so but luckily that's up in a year.”

“What are your plans when the contract is up?”

The Doctor shrugged pausing to rummage over what he could remember of his lifetime and how he currently felt of everything now, “Not sure, think I might be done.” He then nodded agreeing with his slightly blurted out answer, “I'm practically sixty, have a decent egg of money that's not being wasted it on trivial things anymore and I can get on with the rest of my life in peace.”

He nodded and scribbled on the pad idly replying the question, “With Doctor Oswald?”

The Doctor shifted, he was a little surprised that the man would ask a question like that and was still slightly worried on what this man would do with the knowledge that the two of them had a relationship, “This isn't a confession on her sins I hope? I know you answered that earlier but I don't want to get her in trouble, she enjoys her job.”

He shook his head, “No. just a discussion.”

“Then yes with Clara.”

“Are you in love with her?”

“Yes of course I'm in love with her. She's the only one of you lot that actually fixed me.” He leaned forward in the chair glaring at the man making sure he looked up to him, “I'm willing to do anything for her which includes sitting here regretfully answering your interrogation questions.”

Doctor turner eyed him, watching him now as he was going to get into a serious discussion that could turn the tide of how he reacted to him, “What would happen if she left? If she was no longer interested in a relationship or an incident happened that would take her away from you?”

The Doctors eyes shot open in surprise of the question as he leaned back resuming his glare as he figured the discussion was going to start turning ugly, “I don't like where this is heading.”

He sat up looking at him and how uneasy he looked at the question that was just asked of him, “Mr Smith it's a legitimate question, one you would be asked if it was any other woman. I want to make sure that your attachment to her isn't just a band-aid to your real problems and that if something were to happen that you wouldn't rush back to the path of self destruction.”

The Doctor sighed looking down at his hands wringing them together, “If she wanted to leave I could deal with it possibly, she would still be alive and be happy.”

“What if she died?”

He huffed and returned yet another staring glare, his voice shakily answering, “Listen asshole I really don't want to go over this.”

Doctor Turner nodded looking to the clock on his desk, jotting down how long they had been in the session, while he wanted to continue he didn't want to push the subject and ruin what Doctor Oswald had already managed to do, “Alright but I would like you to think about it or try to think about this for next week.”

 

 

Clara smiled as she looked to her mobile stating that the Doctor was calling as she was about to answer it the Doctor spoke angrily before she was able to say hello. _“I hate your fucking doctor friend.”_

She let out a laugh in surprise as that was his greeting, “I know he can be a little difficult but why?

“ _Pushed a subject I really didn't want to talk about.”_

Her mind raced hoping that her colleague didn't push the topic of his wife, something that she angrily told him not to do, “What was it?”

He sighed, pausing like he didn't want to repeat it, _“Asked what I would do if you died.”_

She sighed, of course her colleague would try to circumvent her request, “What did you say?”

“ _Told him to fuck off.”_

“John.”

He sniffled slightly before he started to rant, _“Clara I wasn't exactly thrilled to talk about it with someone new especially when he had the emotions of a brick wall.”_

“Okay but I want you to think of this as a possible answer as I'm sure he wants to know next time, I'm the one that got you sober it would be a shame for you to bury all your feelings about me and your wife again in drugs and booze.”

“ _Keep my mind on loving you.”_

Clara giggled as she actually remembered him saying it during their first time, “yes, it's a better promise you can keep.”

“ _Think I might have a new song but it won't be my standard style.”_

She smiled as she thought about being an inspiration for a new song and could only think of how it would sound if it wasn't his standard style, “Love to hear it sometime.”

“ _When can I see you again?”_

“It's only been a week.”

He whined playfully, _“but I miss you.”_

“Can you get me a ticket to the show?”

“ _I'll do better than that, backstage pass. I'll have to fight Missy for it though.”_

“I'm sure that won't be a problem.”

“ _I love you.”_

Clara paused and smiled as his voice saying those words sent a tingle down her spine, “I love you too Doctor.”

“ _John. Think I'm starting to get over insisting being called the Doctor, especially when I hear it from you. I enjoy hearing it from you.”_

Her still smiling face turned into a grin as she heard those words, “I'll say it again properly when I see you again.”

“ _Can't wait.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving to all that celebrate it!


	16. Chapter 16

The Doctor forgot how much work a show was without any aid as he practically flopped himself onto the couch in his dressing room, he was glad Missy kept the same style of show where there was an intermission with another band playing but he was not as glad of what she possibly intended to do especially with Clara around. The thought passed his mind that he hadn't actually seen Clara at all when he looked towards the side of the stage just seeing Missy with her standard demonized grin on her face. He hoped that Clara was there as he had greatly missed her even though they had called each other or texted at least once a day over the past two weeks.

“Wakey wakey Doctor,” Missy smirked as she stood over him as she caught him napping, “need a little pick me up?”

The Doctor groaned, “No,” as he sat up rubbing the tired sleep out of his eyes then glared at Missy, “Did you even give Clara a pass? I haven't seen her nor has anyone else.”

She gave a smart little smirk and waved her hand as she casually spoke, “Oh she didn't want one.”

“Didn't want it?” He furrowed his brow in thought, “Why the hell didn't she want it? She asked for one it's why I made you give her one.”

“It was our agreement that you would be my little booty call when I wanted it. You came by again and told me no, called me a cunt once again and demanded I give your pet a backstage pass to the show.” Missy grinned watching the expression on the Doctors face turn to horror at what was said next, “That's what I did – gave her a backstage pass showing us fucking on the desk.”

“What?!” He quickly stood up glaring at her, the sex he could see her planning but to record herself getting fucked was something he couldn't believe but this was Missy, who he was now wanting tear limb from limb, “I can not believe you were fucking recording us!”

“Recording us fucking.” She chuckled at the joke, “it's always best to have a little insurance policy, like the ability to deny you canceling out my contract with you. You're mine, Doctor, forever and always.”

She smirked as she watched him pull out his mobile furiously trying to call Clara but ending up being sent to voice mail, “I wouldn't try, she seemed a little upset by hearing how much you loved sex while you pounded into me. I'm still sore after that by the way.”

The Doctor shook his head in frustration, of course he should have told Clara now he had to find her, glaring to Missy he started to walk out of the room, “I'm leaving.”

“Where the fuck are you going?! You have a show to do.”

“Fuck the show! I'm done with you!”

 

The driver was surprised to see the Doctor mid-show let alone making him take him to Claras which seem to only upset him more that she wasn't home. He looked to rear-view mirror watching the Doctor fidget in anger or sadness he wasn't sure as of yet, “Yo Doc you alright?”

“No,” he slowly shook his head, “take me to a store before we go home.”

“Doc what ya gonna get?”

The Doctor's view glared back into the mirror, “None of your business, do as your told.”

He sighed and pulled over where he could turning off the car before turning around and staring at him, “John.”

“Kevin, do it.”

“John look man, I've been your driver sadly the whole time you've been fuckin' drunk, high, whatever. There's been times I've worried if you're a corpse back there regardless of the hookers suckin' on your dick.” He sighed as he saw the Doctor look away in embarrassment for his past deeds, “Whatever has got you down to where you need to start all this shit again I'm not going to continue to be your driver which means kicking you out of this damn car.”

The Doctor sat for a while before he finally was willing to look back up to his driver and spoke softly, “Remember that doctor?”

He chuckled, “Yeah, small and feisty.”

“I was starting to date her and things got fucked up, badly.”

Kevin frowned with worry, “How fucked up?”

“Well saying it's wrong for a doctor to be dating a patient, Missy blackmailed me and wanted sex in return.”

He turned the best he could more in his seat to get a better view to the Doctor who just admitted something that no one in their right mind would do, “No, no you didn't. Please say you didn't fuck her.”

The Doctor looked back to the floor in embarrassment, “Sadly I did because I'm a horny idiot and Missy recorded it. When I asked for her to give Clara a backstage pass for tonights show she wanted it again, I declined because it was wrong against Clara and she proceeded to show the video to Clara.”

“I'm taking you home. You're not going to drink or do anything stupid anymore, I'm going to make sure of it.” Kevin turned back around and started the car back up, the Doctor needed someone and with Missy nixing his one chance to be normal again the Doctor needed someone else till it could hopefully be fixed.

“Well you can take me back to the show to maybe finish it.”

“I told you no more stupid things and that's something stupid.”

The Doctor looked at him confused, “But I need to do the sho-”

“John if Missy is willing to go that far to keep you on a leash, you need to run farther than she can go.”

 


	17. Chapter 17

Doctor Turner eyed the Doctor sitting in front of him, he knew what had happened as Clara had informed him of the event but even without knowing he could tell that the Doctor wasn't in the best of moods and was struggling to sit for the start of the session, “How are you feeling?”

The Doctor sighed clearly tired of hearing the question, “Fine.”

He nodded and wrote how he viewed the Doctors answers on the notepad in front of him, “How did your show go?”

He looked up to the man slightly surprised that he asked about his performance, “Thought you weren't interested in my macabre punk band?”

He shook his head, “It is your profession so I do have to ask.”

He sighed, of course the man wasn't interested but wanted an answer anyway regardless of if it was the truth or not, “Fine, they ate it up like always.”

“Saw you had a selfie with a fan.”

The Doctor looked back to the floor, “I-it was a florist, three weeks before the show, was getting flowers.”

“For Doctor Oswald?”

“Yes,” his breath stuttered as he paused thinking of Clara and the flowers he had bought for her, “for Doctor Oswald.”

Doctor Turner sighed he clearly felt that the Doctor was only here because he felt forced to and wasn't going to say what was on his mind even though he was reminded to do so, “Mr Smith she told me what happened.”

The Doctor furrowed his brow, he didn't want to walk through the pain of it once again, “Well if you know, why are you trying to make me tell you?”

“I'm here to help you. You're clearly having a difficult time with the break up and you're refusing to talk to me about it.”

He took a deep breath before looking back up to the doctor before him scribbling on a notepad, while he could see it wasn't cats but actual words being written he wondered how serious this person was, “I can handle it.”

“No Mr Smith you can not I can see it.” He looked up to him raising an eyebrow in curiosity, “Tell me why did you do it?”

“Do you remember what I said last week?”

Doctor Turner gently shook his head, “I meet with a lot of patients Mr Smith so sadly no.”

“I'd do anything for her to keep her safe and happy.”

“So that includes sex with your manager?”

The Doctor paused looking at him preparing himself for whatever emotional roller coaster he was going to be put through, “I-it did. I had forgotten that Clara told me that she needed to leave and to bring you in. Missy caught us kissing a-and knew of another thing about me, blackmailed me about it.”

“What other thing?”

He smirked trying to hopefully give himself one last moment of happiness, “That I'm a horny old man.”

Doctor Turner smirked quickly with him before returning to the questioning, “So after you did the act did you regret it?”

“I bought her flowers.”

“Flowers are a means to cover up what you did, did you regret it? Actually emotionally sit there and regret the act?”

The Doctor sighed and then glared with the tone of his voice becoming angry trying to hide the sadness as he just wanted it to all go away but his driver made him go to the meeting, “Yes I fucking regret it, I just lost a woman I want to spend the rest of my fucking life with. Again.”

Doctor Turner raised an eyebrow and glanced to the notes nearby to remind himself what he was meaning, “Johnathan, she's not dead.”

He sighed, finally breaking the wall he had put up, he had to at least hope that what he was about to say would make this doctor try to make Clara talk to him once again, “It feels like it. I can't get in touch with her, I call every moment I can. I-I even try to go to her house and she's never home.”

 

\------

 

Clara looked up from her late-night paper work as she heard a knock at her door and saw Doctor Turner's head poking in, “Hello Adam.”

He walked in and sat in front of Clara glaring at her, “That man is a wreck now.”

She shrugged and looked back down to her paperwork, she was hoping that he hadn't come into her office for that reason but as it seemed with everything else as of right now it was not meant to be, “Not my problem, he's yours.”

“Clara you know better. I had been wondering why you were willing to pull longer shift and I got my answer.”

“I should have kept it professional, should have seen the signs, he fucking played me to get sex. What he got is what he deserves.”

“Clara how you broke up with him is destroying him, you've practically made him relive his wife's death again.” He put a small recorder on the desk and played the section of the Doctors session to her, watching her furrow her brow in reaction to it, “I believe this is from his heart Clara and you will talk to him and end your relationship properly, or hell start it again for all I care, otherwise you're on suspension.”

Clara huffed, “Fine I'll call him tomorrow.”

 

\------

 

The Doctor rushed to his mobile on the counter as it rang with the particular ring tone he had set for Clara's number, “Clara... “

“ _Doctor Oswald.”_

His heart sank as he heard her voice, the tone was serious and not all to thrilled to be talking to him, “R-right sorry. I don't have that right anymore.”

“ _Because you lied to me, didn't tell me about the blackmail and the sex with Missy.”_ She laughed out of of embarrassment and then sniffled clearly starting to cry from how much it had hurt her, _“God you fucked me and I was stupid enough to fucking do it.”_

“Please don't blame yourself. And I regretted doing it with Missy, I-I did really.”

“ _You should have told me, instead of letting that fucking jealous cunt show me a video. I had a thought that you might have had this problem but how you behaved around me I crossed it out of my mind, which I shouldn't have done. You see why it's wrong for a doctor to date a patient especially one that has addictions.”_

“Missy likes to manipulate, she wants to keep me on a leash.”

“ _No! You could have walked out that door but you locked the door walked right back and fucked her.”_ The tears behind her voice were more apparent now, _“That is your fault, not hers. You will live the consequences.”_

The sound of her voice was tearing at him as he wanted to comfort her, to make everything right once again, “Please, Clara stay with me.”

She paused for a few moments sniffling before partially returning to her original tone of voice from the start of the call _, “No, I'm sorry Mr Smith. I do hope you at least stay sober for your sake.”_

“For you -” His breath stuttered as the call was ended on her end, “I'll do it for you.” He brought the mobile down setting it on the counter looking at the words 'call ended' for the few lingering moments before the screen went black. He stared at the black screen not knowing what to do anymore till he picked up the phone turning the screen on once again and dialing another number which rang a few times, “Hello Ben. I know it's been a while but I need to end this contract with Melissa, any means necessary.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

Clara was busying herself with work trying to keep her mind off from the painful phone call she had to make four months ago, it hadn't felt like four months but the knowledge that it was slowly made her feel better that it was months and not days. She felt a presence standing in front of her desk and looked up seeing a white envelope being held up to her eye line to which she followed the arm up to see that Doctor Turner had walked in without knocking, “What's this?”

“He wanted you to have it.” Doctor Turner waited a few moments before he decided to lay the letter down and then sit in the chair looking at her still busying herself with work.

She glared at him and then looked back to her paperwork trying to recall the current paragraph she was currently scribbling out on a chart, “Adam I ended it, four months ago in fact. I don't want anything more to do with him including sappy letters wanting me back.”

“So you just ignored it all so much that you missed the big story of how he sued his manager?”

Clara looked up in surprise, “What?”

“Yeah got out the contract but she managed to seize all his assets.” He nodded to the newspaper on her desk that she clearly hadn't read yet, “it's in today's paper.”

Her eyes glanced seeing the paper on her desk mentally reminding herself to pitch it later, “good for him, I guess.”

Adam made a quick scoff leaning forward towards her desk, “Clara between the both of you I still can't decide who's more of a wreck from it all, you or him.”

“He still went to sessions?”

“Up till now yes. This was his last meeting with me as he was paid up till now, I offered to help him for free but he declined, gave me the letter and left.”

Clara smirked, amused that he had still been going but not surprised that he was stopping now, especially when he now had quite literally lost everything now, “Probably drowning himself in booze right now, thanks but no thanks.”

“Clara I believe he still does love you, give him another chance.”

“Someday but not right now.”

Adam pointed his hands to the stacks of folders and loose leaf papers strewn about her desk, “Because you've buried yourself in work.”

“Yes because I don't want to be emotionally tied with patients anymore.”

“There's a reason why patients don't like me, don't be like me.”

 

 

 

\------

**Two Months Later**

\------

 

 

Clara sat in mid-day traffic on her motorbike, sadly she couldn't go around any of it as it seemed that today everyone was set to drive incredibly large vehicles. She was slowly getting frustrated by this fact as she was wanting to get out of the city and drive around the country side and to get away from the car that had its radio turned up blaring music of what sounded like the Doctors singing.

She desperately tried to drown it out as she had done a fairly decent job of not hearing, reading or even thinking of him till what sounded like the crescendo and ending chorus poured out which had her attention fully. His voice sounded sorrowful from the already gloomy tone of what she heard of the rest of the song which she realized was brand new as he sung the last verse like it was poetry:

 

_My mind keeps on loving you,_

_it was the only promise I could keep._

_As the melancholy calls me back_

_to the sedative fields of oblivion,_

_it torments me with promises of perpetual sleep_

_My mind keeps on loving you._

 

The female radio announcer came on right afterwards to which Clara ignored for a moment till she heard her talk more about the Doctor, _“While we couldn't get an actual sit-in interview with the Doctor we did receive a statement in regards to the song stating; '_ A lot of things have happened in the past few months that have changed who I am. This is a farewell song of sorts but who knows, I may or may not be back. _' We do certainly hope the Doctor well and hope this isn't the last as that certainly was one of the best songs we've heard from him in a long time.”_

Clara looked to the radio of the car beside her in surprise that the Doctor had put out another song but more fearful as his previous works had never been this dark. She leaned over to gain the attention to the driver who had turned down the radio when another repeatedly played song had started to blare through. “Hey! Sorry! How long has that new song been out?”

He looked to her slightly surprised and confused, “What of the Doctors?”

“Yes.”

He shrugged then smiled looking forward as the traffic was looking like it was starting to move forward finally, “Like a week. Great isn't it?”

Clara sat back up now with the task of having to change lanes and go back to the office to read the letter had wrote to her.

 

 

 

 

_Dearest Clara,_

 

_I do hope that this is you reading this letter, not some garbage collector or even Dr Turner, and I hope you are doing well._

_I am unsure if you've read or watched anything in the news about me but I fought to get out of my contract as I could no longer work for that vile woman after our phone call, so much so that I gave her everything that I had owned to force her solicitor to tell her to let me go. The reports will say otherwise, I'm not even supposed to speak of it but I couldn't care less. It is repentance for the misdeeds I have done._

_I'm almost finished with the song you had inspired me with, sadly it has turned darker than I initially thought but we both know the reason why._

_Finally, you are probably wondering about the key, a friend helped me procure a flat and I am giving you access to it. Maybe at some point you can come to forgive me and to hopefully give me another chance._

_My love always,_

 

_John_

 

Clara overturned the envelope letting the silver key fall into her hand before she rushed out of her office and towards Doctor Turners knocking and letting herself in. “Adam there hasn't been anything about the Doctor since the court case?”

He smirked by the urgency she had let herself in, “Hello to you too and apart from that worrying song that was just put out, no.”

“Do you think he's –” she sighed not really wanting the question to be spoken but it was something she had to be concerned about.

He shrugged, he was unsure as the man that he had come to know through sessions didn't seem to want to do such a thing even though it had been attempted in the past, “Or been thinking about it a lot.”

She held up the silver key,“That letter he gave you to give to me, he gave me a key to his flat.”

He looked to, “I just hope he hasn't done anything and you walk into a flat with a corpse.”

“I seriously hope not either.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhangers!


	19. Chapter 19

Clara rushed through traffic as best as she could without going too insane over the speed limit or potentially causing any harm to anyone including herself. She quickly found the building and entered it taking the stairs up to the floor that contained his flat where she stood in front of it for a few moments before she realized she should step in before someone was curious of her.

The key easily slid in and unlocked the door which she opened peering into what looked to be the living area. “John?” She finally stepped inside closing the door looking around seeing the flat was relatively clean except for a pile of clothes on the sofa. Clara called out the Doctors name once again as she started to walk around the flat finding that it was a two bedroom residence and it was used by two people, one that was definitely occupied by the Doctor. She entered his room seeing papers strewn and crumpled about on the small writing desk, two guitar stands which one was occupied, and his bed which had been slept in but never tidied back up.

As Clara went to investigate farther she heard the front door open and close with what sounded like a briefcase being put down on the ground before the footsteps went into the kitchen. While the Doctor had given her a key he possibly couldn't expect her to barge in while no one was home and she hoped that this was him and not his flatmate. She carefully made her way to the kitchen as she heard the tea kettle being filled and put on the stove before she was startled by his voice.

“Kevin you left the door unlocked again. I don't want that cunt sneaking in , I'm already in debt making sure she isn't sending photos to the papers saying how I'm dating her.” The Doctor rambled oblivious to whom he was really speaking to before he turned around startled by who was actually behind him, “C-clara.”

Her eyes grew big in surprise as she looked at the first noticeable change of him, a short salt and pepper beard adorned his face along with his hair slightly longer but still curly as ever, “Hello.” She paused to continue to look at him, he was in a decent looking suit made casual by the hoodie and t-shirt adorning him as, she caught herself before her body instinctively went over to him as she was only here to check on him not to get back with him, “I'm sorry I didn't know you had a problem with Missy still.”

The Doctors eyes stared at her like he couldn't believe what he was seeing before his mind caught up to what she had said, “No there's a fan a few floors down that is sadly not quite right in the head. Had the gall to sneak into the flat a month or so ago.” He sighed and chuckled, “guess I should have probably mentioned to call first in the letter either way.”

Clara smirked slightly still eyeing him to see if there was any noticeable changes, “I heard the song.”

He nodded turning back around as the kettle started to whistle taking it off the heat and filling up his cup and another for Clara, “Yes, my last hurrah.”

“You weren't planning on - “

“Offing myself? No,” he turned around handing her the cup her had made her looking towards her with sad eyes, “would be a waste of a key if I did that.”

“I like the beard.”

He gave her a soft smile in response, “How have you been?”

“Fairing well, you?”

He motioned towards the living area leading the both of them to go in and sit on the sofa before he started to talk, “Doctor Turner likely told you I stopped going to his sessions.”

“Yes.”

“I'm going to those free group ones.”

She raised her eyebrow, it surprised her that he was still trying to stay sober, “Why? Doctor Turner offered to continue for free.”

“He suggested I do something different in a previous session, while I know he didn't mean to ditch him I decided to so I could get on with my new life better without most of my old attachments.” The Doctor smirked with a small laugh, “They don't realize who I am with the beard, the papers haven't either and as long as I keep dodging the crazy lady in this building it will continue to stay that way. I feel normal, somewhat anyway. Been giving guitar lessons to some of the people, it's why I was out tonight.”

“G-good, anyway here's your key.” She held out the silver key towards him noticing him slowly frowning to the gesture, “I was just making sure that you hadn't done something terrible.”

The Doctor put his teacup onto the table quickly bringing his hands to hers folding her fingers over the key, “Keep the key for now. The future is still unknown.”

Clara looked down at his hands wrapped around hers, feeling him gently run his fingers over her hand.“I need to get home it's getting late.”

His grip became tighter as he shifted closer as he started to plea with her, “Stay, please. I know what I did was wrong, you were right it was my fault. There is no excuse for me doing it, its why I fought to get out of the contract.”

“I-I can't stay.”

“Dinner? At least once. Public place if you want. Just one last time.”

She shook her head trying to pull her arm free, “John, I'm seeing someone else!” She was surprised at what she had blurted out but luckily she was faced away from him when she said it so she could hide it.

He slowly let go watching her get up and start to walk to the door, “Is he treating you well?”

Clara nodded wiping the tears from her eyes as the regret quickly set in that she was lying to him but it was for the best, she didn't want to be hurt again even if she was doing exactly that to herself at the moment. “John if it helps, I did love you but I've moved on and I suggest you do as well. You seem to be doing well for yourself and I'm happy.”

The Doctor stood up turning away from her and slowly nodded, Clara knew she had just destroyed him once more but she couldn't baby him not anymore. She opened the door and walked out passing by who she recognized as the Doctors driver who stared at her as she rushed out.

The Doctor stood in thought hearing the door open and close once again with Kevin putting the nights meal down on the floor, “Was that Clara?”

“Yes.”

Kevin looked at him with concern, “Everything alright?”

“Um, no not really.” He sniffled and wiped away the tears that had formed and had to hide, “I'm going for a walk.”

Kevin nodded, it wasn't odd for the Doctor to go out if something upset him but this was a major incident and he needed to make sure the Doctor was going to be alright, “Did you want me to go with you?”

He shook his head as he went past giving Kevin a small smile, “No, I'll be alright. Usual roundabout of the neighborhood.”

“Alright I'll be expecting you in an hour.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon .. maybe. Perhaps.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments from last chapter. Also yes mmm bearded Doctor.

Clara laid in her bed, still in her clothes, her mind had come to the conclusion that she had done the right thing but of course her heart was telling her she just did the worst thing she could have ever done. She watched his heart break right in front of her, there was no doubt in her mind that she had. She turned slightly to her door as it was gently knocked on by Nina looking to her with concern, “Everything alright?”

Clara sighed as she finally rolled onto her back looking up to the ceiling, “Saw the Doctor again.”

Nina had been kept in the dark during Clara's stay with the Doctor for good reason as she was a fan as well, it didn't help once Clara had come home that she was constantly bothered regardless of the breakup almost wanting to kick out her friend and roommate out of her flat till she finally got the idea once Clara started working practically all the time. Her eyes went wide in surprise, “You did?”

Clara looked over to the excited grin of her roommate, “I caught the new song that he made, it was a little disturbing along with the key in a letter he gave me.” She looked back to the ceiling thinking of how he looked accidentally speaking out, “God that beard he has.”

“Wait he grew a beard?!” Nina almost squealed in excitement and rushed over sitting on the edge, “you need to tell me!”

She smirked and then shook her head, of course Clara would do the same thing herself but she wasn't wanting to gossip she wanted someone to help her out at the moment, “didn't you hear what I had said?”

“Yes you were being a concerned doctor with a free entrance to his flat, I want to hear about the beard.” Nina grinned, “Or just give me the key to his flat.”

Clara frowned as the pull of her heart was winning over her head, “I think I fucked up.”

“Fucked up? What did you do?”

“I was trying to give his key back and he got a hold of me and was desperately wanting me back before I shouted out that I was with someone else.”

Nina looked at her in confusion, “Wait, were you dating him?”

Clara slowly nodded looking at her with a sad face, “it just happened, and it was the best thing ever till he fucked his manager and admitted he had a sex addiction.” She sighed rubbing her forehead, “I just felt so fucking stupid that I should have kept professional, that this fucking stupid man used me.”

“Why did he fuck his manager?”

“Blackmailed him, thought that if his addiction got out I wouldn't want to be with him anymore.”

“Did you even think he had one?”

“I did, for a moment but he was so gentle.” Clara sighed, “he was so happy, so relaxed around me.”

“That doesn't sound like a man wanting sex all the time.”

“I-I know, fuck, I know.” Clara sat up and looked to her roommate, “I'm going to fix this, though you need to promise me you will keep your trap shut!”

Nina nodded, “as long as I get to meet him.”

“If I didn't mess this all up, you may get to meet him.”

 

 

\------

 

 

Clara parked her motorbike in a nearby parking spot, walking across the road to the building before a car honked to her and a familiar face poked out of the window, “Doctor Oswald!”

She walked over curious as why he was calling her out, “Kevin wasn't it?”

He nodded with a concerned look on his face, “Yeah why are you back here?”

“Because I need to talk to him and fix something.”

Kevin sighed gripping the steering wheel tighter, “He went out so he could walk and clear his mind of you rushing out like you did. It's something he's done before but he usually comes back after an hour or so but he hasn't come back.”

Clara's heart sank as it was something she never wanted to do, she had just wanted him to move on from her not do something stupid, “Oh fuck.”

“Get in I think I know where he went.”

Clara looked out trying to keep a look out for him but it was getting dark and harder to look down alley ways till she noticed Kevin was turning onto a driveway for a cemetery, “Why are we at a cemetery?”

“This is where his wife is buried. He asked me to go here a few times when he was stoned out of his mind,” he sighed looking over to Clara for a brief moment, “it always made him worse after he visited here.”

“You don't think he's done anything?”

“I'm amazed he's kept sober as long as he has doctor.”

 

 

Clara spotted a a dark figure knelt in front of a headstone, the light from the sparsely placed lamp posts and almost set sun lit him just enough to be seen. She looked over to Kevin, who was looking towards him and frowning, before getting out of the car walking up to him, “John?”

The Doctor visibly swayed as he sat slowly turning his head towards where the voice had come from seeing Clara walking up to him as he looked at her with reddened eyes hooded over slightly showing that he was intoxicated, “W-what are you doing here?”

Clara frowned to him, “John I made a mistake.”

He chuckled slightly, shifting his gaze to Kevin as he walked beside Clara, waving the half drunken bottle of whiskey in his hand towards them, “Aye look at this Kevin the wee lass has made a mistake.” He grunted as he struggled to stand almost losing his balance before he slowly walked over a few steps glaring at Clara, “Fuckin' coming back to tell me she lied and hope everything becomes flowers and puppies again like some god damn love story.”

“You knew I lied?”

“I've done it for twenty fuckin' years! I could see it in your fucking eyes when I asked you the question!” He shouted angrily towards her before his face went back to the sadness his heart was seeping out at the moment.

Kevin frowned starting to walk over to him, “Come on John let's get you home.”

“No! I'm done fucking living especially when I can't be forgiven for a fuck up! Can't even be forgiven after giving everything up to be with her.”

Clara frowned, ”John.”

“You can just fuckin' stay away,” he took a large gulp from the bottle wincing at the sting as it traveled down his throat, “like you said, deserve the consequences.”

“John I think you've had enough to drink.”

The Doctor stared at Clara wobbly walking over to her glaring into her face, “Why do you care? You're not my doctor or my fuckin' fuck toy anymore.”

Her eyes went wide as her hand came up promptly slapping him like she had when they first met, “Don't you fucking dare!”

The Doctor in a daze raised his hand to his face feeling the numbed sting of the slap before his eyes looked upon her angered face realizing what he had said, “I'm - I'm sorry Clara.”

“You're going home.”

The Doctor slowly nodded handing the bottle over to her as he started to walk to the car with Kevin helping him along the way.

 


	21. Chapter 21

The Doctor slowly woke up to the blinding light of the mid-day sun glaring through his window forcing a groan and his hand desperately trying to block it from his face. As his memory started to filter in the evenings happenings to explain the massive head he was experiencing, he closed his eyes and curled up once again as he remembered what had all happened. He had broke his promises, got drunk, spoke things he shouldn't have said and was slapped for it by the woman he loved. Weeping slowly which turned into sobbing as his hands went around covering his face, ran them through his hair, gripped at his arms – all the things one could do hoping it was all a nightmare and that he hadn't just destroyed the remaining strands of hope for getting Clara back.

He was startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder and a body climbing into the bed to sit beside him, he knew it couldn't have been Kevin judging by the weight shift and he hoped that the door hadn't been left unlocked especially now. “C-clara?”

He laid still sniffling as he felt the body lay behind him slipping their arms around him letting finally know who was the one comforting him. His hands gripped at her arms gently feeling her soft skin as he started to sob again, “Oh god Clara, I'm so sorry.”

Clara softly hushed him as she moved a hand up to gently comfort him by running her hand through his hair, “I'm the one that needs to apologize.”

He shook his head, “I broke my promise, god I did things I shouldn't have done I -”

She hushed him once again, “I forgive you.”

“I shouldn't be especially after last night.”

“John what I did yesterday was stupid. All those months of keeping all that anger, I never even bothered to talk to you properly I just yelled and forced it to be done.”

The Doctor slowly slid out of her grasp and sat on the edge of the bed still looking away from her, “I, um, did at first want to have sex to just fill the need till that night you got me off the balcony.”

Clara shifted towards him sitting on the bed watching his head hang still sad at what happened, “That night we finally got some decent sleep.”

He quickly glanced over for a moment, his eyes darting around taking a look at her still in the clothes from yesterday, and nodded before turning his head back away, “The way you felt that night, I just couldn't believe I could have that feeling again and then the way I felt so empty after , it tore me up inside.”

“Whats in the past is in the past, I think we've both learned from everything.”

He nodded slowly once again before finally looking at her completely and not shying away this time, “I want us to start over again. To get to know each other again, to make sure this is right for sure.”

“Tomorrow dinner my place.” Clara smiled and then furrowed her brow as a thought passed her mind, “Though I have to figure how to convince Nina to stay somewhere else for the night.”

The Doctor sat up looking at her curiously, “Nina?”

“Friend and roommate. She needed a place to stay a while back and since I had an extra room in my flat she's been there for a while.”

“Think she might be interested in Kevin, make it a double date?” He chuckled and reddened slightly in the face, “If that's alright with you of course.”

Clara smirked shifting so she was sitting along side him on the edge of the bed, “She might be more interested in you instead.”

“Ah a fan as well.”

She giggled at the memory of yesterday when talking to Nina about the Doctor, “Yes, I had spoke out about your beard and she was all over me.”

He raised an eyebrow and ran a hand over his beard not understanding what Clara had actually meant, “I should shave I guess.”

“NO!” Clara laughed out loud in surprise that she shouted, “sorry, no it's fine the way it is.”

“Oh!” He reddened even more when he finally understood that a fan was crazy over wanting to see him with a beard, ”I enjoy it myself, feels right.” The Doctor smiled at Clara after he spoke those words, his heart raced like a teenager once more as Clara put her hand to his face softly caressing his bearded cheek for a few moments before she started to lean towards him, “We should stop.”

Clara looked at him curiously as she knew he wanted to kiss her as well but was surprised that he stopped her, “No, it's okay.”

The Doctor smirked, “Do you really want to face my morning breath after what I did last night?”

“Oh!” Clara giggled, “no you're right, that would probably be awful.”

 

 

\-------

 

 

Clara opened the door to her flat grinning as she let both the Doctor and Kevin inside then reddening her cheeks as Nina squealed like a crazy fan as she ran across the flat towards them, “OH MY GOD! He's here!”

The Doctor chuckled looking to the equally short blonde before extending his hand out, “You must be Nina.”

Nina quickly outstretched her arms and jumped onto the Doctor as she hugged him tightly which caused him to exhale in surprise and flail his arms slightly looking at Clara giving her a silent call for help.

Clara glared at her room mate in surprise, “Nina!”

Nina giggled as she let go looking to Clara in excitement, “Sorry, he's so hot!”

He cleared his throat and smoothed at his jacket as he composed himself after the surprising adventure, “At least I know my age or now the addition of a beard isn't going to dissuade fans.”

Nina kept giggling for a little while longer as she stared at the Doctor for a while longer storing it in memory for lonely nights to come before she smiled to Kevin, Clara had told her some details and while he wasn't the Doctor she would see if it could work out, ”Kevin right?”

Kevin smiled and nodded, ”Yeah.”

“Must have plenty of awesome stories about the Doctor.”

The Doctor let out a small laugh, while he knew most of his more infamous stories were actual tabloid or even real news stories he wanted to stay clear of all the nonsense he had done in the past, ”No, no stories.”

Kevin smirked looking at the Doctor knowing what his once employer and now friend was implying, “I do but mostly about the Doctor and I think he wants his past to stay his past.”

Nina smiled and nodded, ”We all have our fair share of drunk stories of that sort, don't we Clara?”

Clara's eyes went wide, she had hoped even warned her friend to be on her best behavior but it seemed that she hadn't cared and was trying everything to get the Doctors eye which she knew wouldn't happen anyway. “Nina!”

 

After showing them to the dining room Clara excused herself and Nina rushing the both of them to a side room promptly scolding her to the amusement of the Doctor and Kevin who were still able to listen. Dinner started out a bit awkward but Nina promptly took control and started asking questions that got the mood of the flat up and cheerful with the Doctor now eagerly looking to Clara all through the meal. After he helped bring the dirty dishes from the dining room to the kitchen the Doctor stood closely behind Clara as she plated various cookies and biscuits to bring out for dessert leaning over to snag a cookie, ”So what is the embarrassing story your roommate gave light to?”

Clara smirked, ”It's nothing.”

“If it is anything worse than what I've done then I understand but surely nothing _could_ top what I have done.”

“We made out,” she sighed and giggled, “well more than made out but as she said we were both drunk.”

He chuckled and leaned down softly speaking in her ear, “That's not something to be ashamed of.”

Clara smirked as she felt him gently push himself against her, “We should go back out there.”

“I have a better idea, we go back to my place to see how mink fur feels.”

She turned around, in surprise to hear that he still owned some of his stuff, watching him slowly take a bite out of the cookie, “I'm amazed Missy didn't take off with that.”

“Quite easy to say that it was damaged beyond repair during one of my many episodes, same with at least two of my guitars and a few other valuables I just couldn't let her have.”

She leaned in whispering looking out the door towards the dinning room, “But what about Kevin and Nina? They're going to know we're missing.”

He grinned, “I hinted to Kevin we might toddle off somewhere, leave a note.”

“You leave the note I'll sneak my coat out.”

 


	22. Chapter 22

Clara buried her face into the large mink blanket softly moaning, the soft silk-like fur against her naked flesh and the Doctor slowly running his hand gloved of the same fur against her back caused the fire between her legs roar to life quickly. Gripping at the fur softly moaning once more she turned her head glancing up to the Doctor, him sitting beside her with his dress shirt unbuttoned halfway down and still in his trousers, his eyes slightly hooded unknowing of what he was exactly looking at. She realized that his eyes were following his hand as it glided across her back coming up to meet her shoulder, his eyes coming up seeing her face was looking to him.

The Doctor softly smiled to her slowly wetting his lips before he spoke, “Enjoying?”

She slowly nodded smiling, “feels wonderful.”

“I had ordered this as a surprise for my wife,” he softly sighed but continued to keep the soft smile he had been showing, “actually never been out of the box and I never thought I would ever unbox it.”

Clara was surprised that he would reveal such a thing but she knew he had always found it easy to speak to her about the past, “The way you spoke about about it I thought you had used this before?”

He shook his head removing his hand away from her and sat, “There were times I had wanted to but the little sober voice that still remained inside kept poking me that I should save it for the person that deserved it.”

She smirked rolling onto her side facing him, “why do you think I deserve this?”

“Remember when I told you never call me John or Mr Smith because he was gone and never coming back?” He waited for her reply of yes before continuing on smirking to his answer, “you brought him back and calmed the beast that is the Doctor.”

“Good but,” Clara smiled shifting forward taking his mink gloved hand and placing it in between her breasts as she turned over laying on her back, “I do hope I can get a bit of wild Doctor from time to time.”

The Doctor started to grin slightly as his hand slowly moved over a breast rubbing the fur teasingly around as he leaned down, hovering slightly over her, bringing his face close to hers, “I'm sure he'll show up sometime.”

Clara raised her hands to either side of his face caressing his cheeks before gently pulling him down towards her, which he eagerly allowed, pressing their lips softly and lovingly against each other. Her nails gently scratched through the slightly coarse hairs of his beard then up into his soft curls of his hair as the Doctor started to kiss down along her jaw, neck and lower, planting soft bearded kisses against her skin. She let out a soft satisfying moan as he kissed at her breasts for a few moments, his hands free of the mink glove softly gripping at her waist, before he traveled further down ever more slowly planting his kisses now.

“Patience,” the Doctor softly spoke after Clara eagerly pushed at his head a few times desperate for him to go lower than the area below her navel he was currently teasing at. He wanted to taste, love, and to tease every inch of her as he never wanted the night to end.

Clara made a noise of impatience wiggling to try to force him lower, “Oh god John please.”

He looked up with a small smile as Clara brought her hands over her head gripping at the fur beneath her, “So you want,” he leaned he head back down kissing lower and lower in between words, “me to go lower?” He was just centimeters away from her sex as he paused once more at the area hearing another frustrated noise from Clara in reply.

“I'm going to tease you so much John.”

“I welcome it love.” He didn't give her any time to reply as his tongue snaked between her wet folds tasting the sweetness flowing through her. He had missed this; making her writhe as he teased her with his tongue, drinking in her arousal as it flowed from her, satisfying the woman he couldn't live without.

Clara brought a hand down quickly gripping at his hair moaning as he was finally appeasing the desire between her legs, the feel of his tongue mapping every inch of her sex along with the mink beneath her made her understand why he had waited. There was no way to have quick and dirty sex on a mink fur blanket as it required a sensual moment of time to enjoy every aspect of the silky fur on your skin and having quick drugged-out one night stands would never have allowed for those moments.

She gasped as she felt his fingers one slowly after another slip in slowly rubbing deep inside her working away the walls of the dam to her impending release. Bringing her hands up to the bars that made up the headboard she moaned and writhed as her muscles clenched around his fingers as he pressed harder, rubbed faster and suckled on her hardened clit in response. “John,” she panted heavily before letting out a load moan, not caring of whom on the floor or the whole of the building had heard, as the immense tingle of orgasm rushed over her.

The Doctor crawled back up and laid next to her with a smile as he watched her catch her breath before leaning over kissing at her shoulder and her neck softly. He closed his eyes as her hands started to roam over his chest, unbuttoning the remainder of his dress shirt, and down over the bulge in his trousers of his erection desperately wanting free of. How he wanted to plunge himself into her wetness to feel her warmth surround and squeeze him to release. He opened his eyes looking down to Clara looking up to him, as she had moved down between his legs, as she started to free him from his confines.

Climbing back up and straddling his waist, taking his throbbing member in hand she slowly ran the tip against her wet entrance, she had thought about teasing him now but with how aroused he was and how much she wanted to feel him inside of her she could always tease him another day. He made a soft noise as she guided him into her, slowly settling down till he filled her completely. She gasped as he lifted his hips to press into her more causing her to lean forward bracing herself onto his chest, smirking as she saw the soft aroused smile on his face she laid against him as his arms embraced around her, exchanging soft gentle kisses between them.

Slowly the Doctor began moving his hips as his hands rubbed and gripped at her back, to be kissing, touching and inside of Clara hearing her soft moans in his ear once more was something that no drug could ever match. Letting out a soft groan as Clara started to grind against him he gripped at her waist picking up the pace to meet hers.

Clara giggled slightly, “patience.”

The Doctor hummed smiling to her as he rolled the both of them over, looking deep into her eyes as he kept the slow pace on, “I have been patient,” he chuckled slightly, “and your patient.”

“Not anymore.”

“Yes, to both.”

Clara giggled again and then gasped as John pushed deeper inside her, “mmm John.”

“I love you, so very much. I never want to hurt you again.”

Clara caressed his cheek, the look of love and acceptance in his eyes was more than the desire burning in the both of them, “And I should have never doubted it.” She smiled, “though enough talk, show me.”

John smiled back as the he picked up the pace, still a slow loving pace but enough to work Clara back into another orgasm. He groaned into her shoulder as he felt the blissful grip of her sex squeeze at his member coaxing him to release as he thrust harder and deeper wanting to feel her grip at him once more. Sitting up he grabbed hold of her legs raising them higher as her hand furiously rubbed at her clit.

“Harder,” Clara cried out as she desperately wanted to cum for him again.

He groaned as he thrusted harder with her uncoordinated thrusts feeling his own release hit the point of no return. He cried out as he spilled inside her all while trying to keep some form of thrusting to push her over the edge a final time burying his head back into her shoulder as she writhed through her final orgasm moments after.

Clara brought her hands up to gently run her fingers through his sweat laden curls as the both of them panted regaining their breath. “I love you very much John.” She felt him smile, making a soft noise in reply before he rolled them onto their sides so he would not be laying directly on her any longer.

“Will you marry me?”

Clara looked to his slowly tiring face as he was starting to drift to sleep, “I'll answer you in the morning.” She kissed his forehead softly as cuddled up to him.

He nodded slowly as he started to drift to sleep, “I can't wait.”

 

 

\--------------------

EPILOGUE

\--------------------

 

 

John softly moaned as he felt Clara's hand softly caress his cheek waking him from his deep slumber early in the morning. He took her hand holding it gently as his fingers ran over the wedding band that he placed on her finger almost a year and a half ago, looking over to Clara and the glow of her face as she smiled back. “Morning.”

“You look so beautiful,” he sighed happily as he shifted around as he woke up his other hand running along the large curve of her stomach. To be married once again was the best thing that he could have done but to now be a soon to be father especially at his age scared him but at the same time could never make his life more complete. “I take it someone wanted us to wake up again.”

She smiled brighter as she shared the secret she had been waiting to tell, “And to finally meet us in person.”

John looked at her in confusion for a few moments till it clicked as he saw her giggle at him and then his eyes grew wider, “Why didn't you wake me up sooner?”

“John it's alright, I've been timing them we have some time.” She squeezed at his hand gently, “I love you.”

He still had the look of fear on his face but leaned over giving her small kiss on the lips, “I love you to but I, um, would feel better if we start getting ready.”

She nodded, “it's why I woke you plus the time it would take you to calm down.”

“I'm calm.” He wasn't.

“I called Kevin, he'll pick us up.”

His eyes went wild as he ran through everything in his mind which was now just a mess as he was, “I have to call the studio tell them I can't make the recording today.”

She giggled as she saw him starting to panic, “I left a message with them.”

He looked at Clara once more seeing the calm on her face which made him fascinate over how she was in labor and keeping it calm at the same time along with whatever else she had done this morning while he slept in for a little longer, “You spoil me too much.”

“It's to make up for all the spoiling you did for me.”

“I wanted my wife to be happy.”

“And now I just want my husband to be calm while I have a baby. Okay?”

He nodded, “Okay I can do that.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays! I apologize this took so long as I was conflicted if I wanted to add anything more or to end it like I did, then the time to write it hopefully to bring this story to a wonderful end!
> 
> Thank you all for the wonderful comments!
> 
> Going to take some time off to flesh out some chapters of my next story so I can deliver them at a decent pace (which will never happen!)


End file.
